Overcoming Grief
by Dee Lee
Summary: Shannon is having a hard time dealing with what happened to her brother. Can she overcome her grief and start life fresh? Shoone, S,K,J, CC. Chap 11: Shannon ponders fate. Exodus Part 2
1. What to think

**Overcoming Grief**

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**_Characters (this chapter): Shannon, Claire and Kate._**

_**Setting: The beach/Shannon's tent.**_

_**Summary: Shannon is having a hard time dealing with what happened to her brother. Can she overcome her grief and start life again?**_

**_Rating: T. Just some language that isn't suitable for everyone._**

**_A/N: Okay, I decided to write this because I'm a mega Boone/Shannon shipper. Please tell me whether or not I should continue writing this, because it's not meant to be a one-shot, so if you want more, please tell. I'd love some reviews. It might be easier to understand how Shannon's feeling if you read my other story "I'm sorry", which is about what she's thinking when she cries over his dead body. This is kinda like a sequel to it, but you don't need to read it. I'd love some reviews. :D

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Shannon Rutherford walked along the edge of the water. The damp sand decreased under her feet every footstep and squished between her toes. The cool refreshing water washed gently over her feet as she traveled aimlessly.

Her step-brother had just died, and everyone except Sayid was avoiding her; not giving a damn about her feelings. Or perhaps they just wanted to give her "space". Either way she was glad. She used to be confused about her relationship with Boone, but now she didn't know what to think. Now that he was gone… she felt like an empty hole, with no purpose anymore. She felt even worse than when she didn't even say anything at the funeral and instead Sayid had. Locke had turned up with Boone's blood all over his body…

"Shannon?" whispered a small female voice.

As Shannon thought that the only one that would want to talk to her was Sayid, she was startled when she turned around to face the no longer pregnant Claire. She was holding a child tenderly in her arms, with a baby blue blanket wrapped neatly around him.

Shannon was shocked. "When did you have the baby?" She asked, staring into the bundle of blankets at the adorable sleeping child. She realized how much she had missed out on in the last few days.

"Last night," Claire said.

Shannon noted how exhausted Claire looked, and looked into her sparkling blue eyes with a surge of sympathy that many of the survivors had given her that day.

"I'm sorry about your brother," she said in her strong Aussie accent.

Shannon remained silent at this comment.

The baby slowly started to awake and gave a large yawn before it started squirming around and crying. Shannon peered down at the baby's gorgeous exterior and was forcefully reminded of Boone in his baby photos. She looked away from Claire as she felt a cold tear trickling down her delicate face.

Wiping her face she looked back and whispered, "What's the baby's name?"

Claire gave a small smile. "Well I haven't decided for sure yet, but if you promise not to tell?"

Shannon nodded.

"I think I might call him Aaron."

Shannon smiled the first true smile she had in ages. "It's a beautiful name," She commented, sitting down on the soft sand.

"Charlie keeps calling him Turnip Head," Claire laughed, sitting down as well. "I just hope that he won't think that's his real name." Shannon laughed a little.

They stared at the ocean for a while until Claire spoke up. "There was a matter I was going to ask you about," she said.

Shannon felt as though they had reached the purpose of the conversation. She actually hadn't had a chat with Claire since they first got here, but Claire probably would have forgotten anyway. Shannon wished she could forget about Boone...

Shannon looked up. "Yeah?"

"I was wondering… Could I possibly… would you mind if I made Boone his middle name?" She enquired nervously.

Surprised, Shannon nodded. "Of course you can," She felt a lump rising in her throat.

"Thanks," Claire whispered, patting Shannon on the back, getting up off the ground and departing.

Shannon waited a few minutes after Claire had left before getting up and strolling over to what used to be her and Boone's makeshift tent. Now it was only her tent as Boone had deserted her ages ago to go hang out with the Jungle Freak.

Shannon lay down on the airplane chairs that she had used for her bed. On the floor were Boone's belongings that Locke had deposited earlier. She wanted to know why Boone had stopped paying attention to her and what the hell Locke had done to him.

She picked up the bag, trying to fight the temptation as to whether or not she should open it. Her hands were about to pull the zipper as a voice spoke.

"Hey Shannon," It was Kate.

Shannon had never had a meaningful conversation with Kate, because they were two completely different people who really didn't want anything to do with each other. The only other one-on-one conversation they had had was when Jack, Kate, Boone and Locke had gone on a quest to find the missing Claire and Charlie. Shannon had begun to worry about Boone, who had not yet returned, so she confronted Kate.

"How are you?" Kate asked warmly, sitting down next to her.

Giving no reply, Shannon set down the bag. What a stupid thing to ask someone when someone they cared about was gone forever.

Kate didn't know what to say either, so the pair just sat in silence for a minute.

"I didn't know him very well, but he was a great guy," Kate finally spoke up. Shannon didn't respond.

"Listen, I understand what you are going through. I haven't told anyone this before, but…" Kate cleared her throat and continued. "When I was a kid, my best friend was a guy called Tom. As we grew older, I kinda fell in love with him. One day, a few years ago…" She looked as though she was struggling to find the right words. "I was speeding and… we crashed, and Tom died." Kate concluded, looking as though she were on the verge of tears.

Shannon wasn't one to usually give sympathy, but she knew that Kate felt just like her at that moment. But Shannon had been through enough years of Boone lying to tell Kate wasn't being entirely truthful.

"Everyday I think about it, and I'll know I'll never forget it, but I know I have to move on with my life. I loved Tom-"

"In an actual "love" way, where I loved Boone in a brother-sister way," Shannon said forcefully, cutting across Kate. "So unless you're saying I was in love with my brother, we're in a different boat!"

Kate stared at Shannon in amazement. "I wasn't suggesting that you were in love with your brother. I was just trying to comfort you."

Shannon looked away and Kate got the distinct impression that there was more to Boone and Shannon that meets the eye.

"You did love him, didn't you?" She asked. "In a more than a brother-sister way?"

"I don't know what to think anymore!" Shannon suddenly cried, making Kate fall backwards. "We aren't even properly related! We're only stepsiblings. But since my Dad died, I guess we aren't even that anymore!"

"Oh, honey," Kate said in a calming voice, putting her arms around Shannon's shoulders. She was utterly shocked at the fact they weren't related.

"I never told anyone, but deep down, I always loved him and I knew he still loved me. But now I also like Sayid, and Boone didn't want us to be together, but now he's dead and I don't know what to think!" She blurted out, crying into Kate's shoulder.

The pair sat there together for a few more minutes, the only sounds being Shannon's weeps and Kate patting her on the back.

Deciding Shannon needed some alone time, Kate softly said, "I'm sorry, but I have to go check on Claire and the baby. Then I have to go hunt down Jack who's off searching for Locke, who keeps reappearing and disappearing," She chuckled a bit. "But, remember, if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm always available."

"Please don't tell anyone," Shannon whimpered.

Kate nodded and left Shannon's makeshift tent.

Shannon felt alone and sad, but still reasonably better that she had just let out her emotions. She guessed that there were times she needed to break down. She wasn't particularly happy that the person she had just broken down in front of had just left her, though.

Lying back on her bed, she slowly cried herself to sleep, dreading the days to come.


	2. Do you care?

**WellI decided to write the second chap. Hope you like!

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Kate walked out of Shannon's tent, feeling a whole lot worse than she had when she entered. She was so surprised. For being on the island for a whole month and a half, Kate never would have expected that Boone and Shannon weren't properly related.**

But just thinking and telling Shannon about that story made Kate start to get teary.

_Why did you have to die Tom? I loved you and it's my bloody fault. Why did I have to come to you when I was on the run? Why did you have to take me in? Why the hell didn't you get out of that car?_

Kate's thoughts were cut short as she saw Sayid marching toward her, obviously annoyed.

"Can I see her now?" He asked angrily in his Middle Eastern accent. "Jack keeps telling to give her "space"."

Frowning, Kate said, "Sorry, she's just broken down again. She's in a total state of confusion and no offence, but you'll just make her more confused."

Even a few meters outside the tent, they could hear Shannon's stifled cries.

Sayid looked miserable. "You can go see her when she's awake. I'm sure she'll need you then," Kate told him in a soothing voice.

"Is she alright Kate?" Sayid asked gruffly, wanting to know everything that had happened to her.

"She's pretty distraught and confused. But, that's just normal, I guess." Kate nodded and walked away. Kate never planned on telling any of the survivors about Boone and Shannon. She didn't know, however, that Sayid knew about the Boone half.

Sighing, Sayid departed back to his tent. He half blamed himself for Boone's death. He felt so terrible after what happened, and he was the one disobeying Boone when he told him to stay away from Shannon. And while he was dieing, Sayid had been making-out with Shannon miles away, without a worry.

Now, worry was the only thing he felt.

He tried to concentrate on Rousseau's map, but Shannon just kept filling his mind.

"_I need to tell you something." Shannon had said, in the middle of their kissing._

"_Alright." Sayid said, curious, yet thinking he would dread what was coming next._

"_My brother, Boone. He's not really my brother. He's my step-brother. Our parents got married when we were, like, 8 and 10. He's kind of in love with me."_

"_In love with you? And how do you feel towards him?" Sayid asked in shock. That wasn't quite the answer he had been expecting. It would explain why Boone was so protective of Shannon though._

"_I'll always feel something for him. But am I in love with him in that way? No. Not at all. We're here for god knows how long, and so is Boone." Shannon said._

"_Maybe we should go back?" Sayid inquired. He would do anything for her._

"_I don't want to go back." She said firmly._

"_Are you sure?"_

"_Yes. I just need to take it a little slow. Are you okay with that?"_

"_I had no expectations."_

"_Right."_

"_Hopes, not expectations." He grinned. Shannon grinned back.

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_

Kate continued walking, trying to find Claire and her little baby. She was a little surprised with Sayid's anger. Perhaps Shannon had already told him the secret? She didn't think she would have told him that she was on love with her brother though.

So far she was no where in sight. She knew Claire wouldn't have gone back to the caves yet, since Charlie was down by the sea trying to fish with Hurley. Emphasize on "trying".

Kate watched and laughed at the two goofballs, thrashing around trying to get one stupid fish, and getting drenched diving in and out of the water. Down the beach Jin was catching five fish with ease. Hurley and Charlie were watching him enviously with a pissed-off look on their faces.

Trying not to get distracted, Kate peered along the beach, trying to find the Aussie. Walt and Vincent were playing fetch, with Michael watching contently from the side. Jack was either at the caves, or half-way through the jungle hunting Locke. Sun was hopelessly watching her husband from afar.

Not being able to resist, Kate looked over at Sawyer's tent, and was surprised to see Claire sitting there with her baby. Smiling to herself, Kate made a trail over to Sawyer's tent.

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Jack trudged through the jungle, determined to find Locke, who had run away yet again. But this time, Jack had slept after he gave Boone his blood, so he wasn't so weak anymore.

But his sleep was far from reviving. He had a nightmare… about Boone. Jack had never had a patient he knew before, that had died. It wasn't a very happy experience.

"_There's no chance. I mean, look where you are." Boone said his voice barely audible._

"_I'm not going to let you give up." Jack wasn't going to give up. He couldn't. He was going to save Boone._

"_I know you made a promise. I'm letting you off the hook. Jack, let me go," Boone whispered, all bloody and weak. He could barely say the sentence properly._

"_I'm sorry," Jack said, finally registering that he had failed. He thought that this would be another miracle. C'mon Boone! Please, stay with me!_

'_Don't be," Boone breathed, holding on to his life. "Tell Shannon… Tell Shannon…tell,"_

_Those had been his last words. Jack put his hands on Boone's face and pushed his eyelids over his piercing electric blue eyes. _

_But suddenly Boone's eyes flashed open. He spoke clearly. "You killed me, Jack!"_

"_What? No, no, I didn't… It was Locke!" Jack cried. Boone stood up and multiplied by ten, and surrounded Jack, with silver daggers in his arms._

_They were closing in on him, Jack couldn't breathe. They pushed him down on the ground and raised their daggers. "Now… it's time for revenge," The ten Boone's said in unison, pushing their daggers into his body. Jack screamed in pain, as blood spilled out of his body and suddenly, all went black. Jack awoke with a start._

Trying not dwell on the stupid, yet horrible nightmare, Jack kept on walking.

"Where the hell are you Locke? What the hell did you do to Boone, you son of a bitch!" Jack yelled into the jungle. He fell down on his knees, exhausted.

He needed to find Locke. This was one thing he was not going to give up on.

* * *

"The low rumble breaks the crisp fall air as a flash of red streaks down the maple-dappled Vermont highway. The 32 valve V-8 engine purrs as the transmission clicks down a gear and the vehicle unleashes all 400 horses and 350 pound feet rear-wheel torque."

"Well, this certainly is awkward," Kate said grinning. She was standing at the entrance to Sawyer's makeshift tent, and neither Claire nor Sawyer had noticed her.

Sawyer was reading from a car magazine on his chair, wearing his "Harry Potter" glasses. Claire was sitting on the soft sand, nursing her baby as it fell asleep.

"Aw, what do you want, Freckles?" Sawyer said, sarcasm in his voice. "I was just getting used to reading a car magazine to a baby." He rolled his eyes.

Claire smiled. "For some strange reason, the baby seems to like Sawyer's voice," She said to Kate, rocking the baby in her arms slowly.

"Yeah, some strange reason," Kate said laughing. Out of all the survivors, Sawyer was the only one the baby liked. What a strange pairing.

"Let's face it; no one can resist my southern charm," He smirked, staring at the two woman in front of him and flashing his dimples.

"Don't flatter yourself," Claire smiled

Yes, Kate thought Sawyer was sexy, but hey, what girl on the island didn't?

Kate could tell Claire was thinking along the same lines.

"So what do we owe the pleasure, sweet cheeks?" Sawyer asked.

"I came to check on Claire," Kate stated.

"Suuure," Sawyer said, smirking yet again, "Like I said; No one can resist my southern charm."

"You flatter yourself unnecessarily too much," Claire said, watching her little son fall asleep because of Sawyer's smartass comments. Claire hoped the baby wouldn't pick up Sawyer's attitude when he became older.

Ignoring his comment, Kate bent down next to Claire and said, "How are you?"

"Hmm, can't complain," She giggled. Kate giggled as well.

"Have you named the baby yet?" Kate inquired, staring down at the gorgeous infant.

"Not yet," Claire said. She didn't want to tell anyone else yet. "But Shannon said it would be alright if I made his middle name Boone."

"Aw, that's sweet. So you talked to Shannon today?"

"Yeah, she was really depressed though," Claire sighed.

"Yeah, I talked to her as well, she completely broke down in front of me," Kate said, feeling the tears welling in her eyes again.

"Poor girl. I mean, I didn't know Boone very well… Actually I have no idea since I don't remember before I got kidnapped, but he was really sweet to me when I came back," Claire told Kate.

"Yes, he was really nice. How's that memory coming anyway?"

"Stuff comes back to me every now and then, but nothing like a kidnapping. I remember us having a conversation about hairbrushes," She giggled again.

"That was like our first conversation ever!" Kate said amazed at Claire's memory recovery.

"Cool! I can also re-"

Behind them, Sawyer cleared his throat and cut across her. "As interesting as that conversation is, I believe Freckles is blockin' my afternoon sunlight."

The pair laughed, and Sawyer rolled his eyes. _Women._

Deciding that she should give Kate and Sawyer some "alone" time, Claire got up holding her little child tightly. "Well, it's getting late, I better start heading to the caves."

"I'll come with," Kate said, jumping up.

"No, no, it's ok. I'll just go with Charlie. You'll have to come back to the beach anyway," She said quickly.

"Alright, See ya around Claire."

With a wink, Claire vacated Sawyer's tent.

Kate looked up at the setting sun and sighed. "I hope Jack is going to be alright," She whispered.

"Saint Jackass? You're not worried about him, are ya puddin'?"

"So what if I am? He had to watch Boone die last night, and he's probably killing himself looking for Locke."

"Well sorry I asked!" Sawyer said angrily, turning his back on Kate.

"Do you even care that Boone died?" She questioned him.

"Of course I care!" He almost shouted at her. "Just because I don't like to show I care, doesn't mean I don't care!"

She was shocked, yet upset. She hated arguing with Sawyer. She wished she never brought up the topic.

"Sorry," he grunted. She gaped at him. _Sorry?_

"Since when did you apologize to people?" She said.

He didn't respond. She felt lonely as she stared at his back. Why did she say that to him?

She sat down next to him frowning. "So, you and Claire were getting along?"

"Sudden change of topic, don't ya think? And yea, I guess we were."

"Well sorry if I don't want to talk about people dieing!" She jumped up and vacated his tent.

When she had reached her own tent, Kate realized she was crying. "Why do I let men get the better of me?" She thought miserably.

Back in his tent, Sawyer was thinking along the same lines.

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**Ack I'm sorry, No Shannon this chap. lol. Next chap :P**


	3. The Trouble with Women

**Chapter 3: The Trouble with Women**

**Characters: Shannon, Boone, Sawyer, Kate.**

**A/N: Ok, here's chap 3, I hope you like! Please R&R! **

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_Knock. Knock. Knock. Shannon waited patiently outside an expensive apartment. The door was large and white; with a clean golden handle and a gold number which read"7". The whole apartment block looked grand and more than likely expensive. Anyone could tell it would cost around a few million to live in a place like this. Shannon could hear passer-by's referring to the apartment block as "that stuck-up place for rich assholes". _

_Shannon kept knocking impatiently. She had been waiting for over and hour, knocking furiously. "Open it, Damn it!" She thought angrily and stubbornly. Why the hell wasn't he opening? He couldn't possibly ignore her any longer. She knew he couldn't resist her, let alone stay further than ten meters apart. She was like poison to him; toxic and deadly, but impossible to shake. _

_She knew he was home; she had been spying on his place all day and saw him park his shiny red Porsche in the parking lot and sneakily enter two hours ago. She thought to wait an hour, because she liked to make and entrance, and didn't want it to seem as though she was stalking him. She actually felt as though she was stalking him; watching the house and knocking the hell out of the door. Luckily for the door, it had still maintained its immaculate shine. _

_Her feet were becoming sore because of all the standing she had been doing. Shannon had been standing in lines all day at the airport. She had traveled to L.A. from New York, but she had come all this way and was not going to give up that easily. _

_No one could reject Shannon Rutherford. All the girls were jealous of her, and all the guys wanted her. She had breath-taking beauty and a gorgeous figure; skinny but toned legs and stomach, perfect dyed blonde hair that never gave signs of frizz, and a pretty yet sexy face._

_She also had attitude. She could always get whatever she wanted, from anyone, anytime. She was manipulative and a total bitch, not to mention her step-mother was loaded with cash. But still no one could walk away from her, despite her bitchy nature. Everyone wanted a piece of her. She used that to her advantage._

"_I know you're in there!" Shannon called in her loud, but sweet voice. "I'm tired, hurt, and pissed off!"_

_She rapped harder on the door; making people in other apartments stick their big-nosed heads out. _

"_Bloody curious idiots," she thought angrily. All the women were telling her to shut the hell up, while all the men were checking her out._

_She began screaming as loud as she could, and everyone closed their doors immediately and clasped their hands tightly over their ears._

_Suddenly the door to number 7 flung open. A man was standing there looking extremely annoyed. His brown hair was slightly ruffled at the back, giving him a sexy appearance. His piercing electric blue eyes burned with anger with an instinct to kill, but Shannon could see the lust hidden in there somewhere. He was wearing a white singlet top, showing off his muscles, and a pair of shorts._

"_What the hell do you want?" Boone, her step-brother asked. Shannon could tell his anger was slowly fading away at the sight of her._

"_Hi big brother! Good to see you!" She said cheerfully, her voice dripping with sarcasm._

"_Where's your boyfriend? The one that bashed me up?" He demanded icily, flicking his sexy hair back to reveal a nasty purple bruise on his forehead._

"_Back at the hotel," Shannon responded, shrugging. She didn't want to show that she cared for him; it would make him want her more. She did care though. She hated to think her boyfriend would actually do that. _

_Boone sighed. "I'm guessing that if you still have your boyfriend, than you came here to get money off me," he asked casually, moving from the doorway and into his apartment where he slouched down onto the comfortable clean couch. _

"_No, I came to see you," She lied._

_He shot her a look of disbelief._

"_Fine, I'm here for the money," She confessed smoothly. She hated lying to him, so it was better if he knew the truth._

"_Why do you want my money? You have heaps on your credit card... don't tell me you've spent that?"_

"_Of course not. Well, not yet at least. I need it because…well… Nick and I are getting married."_

_Boone spluttered on the Diet Coke he was drinking. "What!"_

_Shannon shrugged innocently again and stared at Boone's eyes. "Well, are you gonna give me the money?" She asked sweetly._

"_Not if you're getting married to that son of a bitch," He replied just as sweetly, smirking angelically. _

_Shannon thought Boone was like an angel; when he was a kid he always got A's in classes and never got into trouble, and everyone liked him, while Shannon always got C's and was always in trouble, mostly for doing some sexual act at school. Sabrina Carlyle cursed the day she got married to Adam Rutherford, not because she didn't love him, but because of the mad daughter she had. Sabrina had often complained to Shannon that she should just stay out of Boone's life, because he was always running to her rescue._

"_Don't you dare talked about Nick like that!" She shouted at him, in rage. She didn't know why she was defending her fiancé; Boone was right, he was a total bastard. But she just wanted to make him mad._

"_Well, if you love him so much, go to him and not me," He said simply and calm-like. He was not going to let her get the best of him again._

"_You're just jealous because I don't love you!" She cried._

"_Oh here it goes again. Get a life Shannon. I don't love as more than a sister, so just get over it! I just don't want you marrying a selfish bastard!" He yelled back._

_Both of them were going slightly pink in the face from embarrassment and all the yelling._

"_You're an awful liar, Boone," said Shannon, walking over to him and wrapping his arms around him_

_Boone pushed her away furiously. "Don't, Shannon." He tried to look away from her as he said this, not wanting to look into her beautiful eyes._

"_I'm guessing you were drunk when you agreed to marrying him?" He inquired coolly._

"_So what if I was? It's none of your business," She retorted coldly._

"_Fine, what the hell do I care?" Boone said, walking to the door of the apartment. "Maybe one day you'll realize that he's a rude, mean and drunk person and that neither of you love each other. If I'm lucky, you'll also realize that you're a selfish little bitch."_

_A cold, hard and well manicured hand slapped across Boone's face in a split second. "Don't you dare insult me!" She hissed, "You don't even bloody well deserve to."_

_Boone put a slender hand to his face and rubbed the place where she hit him. He took a few seconds to recover._

"_Goodbye, Shannon," He said, pushing her aggressively through the door, and slamming it in her face._

"_Boone, you little baby!" She cried, banging her fists on the door. "You're not done with me!" She felt the tears sliding down her pampered face. She leaned on, and slid down the smooth door and crumpled into a heap at the foot of the door, sobbing gently.

* * *

_

Waking up from her sleep, Shannon cringed at the memory. Would Boone haunt her every time she slept? Why had she done those things to him? She wished she could just start over.

Getting up off her warm and cozy "bed", she began to march out of her tent, determined to find Kate, and possibly break down again. As she had told Kate about her relation between her step-brother, Shannon thought that she could divulge all of her problems to the girl, as she had no objections, Kate had also revealed a secret from her past,. Shannon felt the need to reciprocate. Besides, Shannon needed to get some stuff off her chest. She felt weighed down by her feelings.

Shannon pulled apart the hangings of her makeshift tent and immediately felt the cool breeze rushing past her, making goose bumps crawl up her neck. She shivered, not realizing how cold it had been while in her tent. She could sufficiently tie knots to make better tents than others at the beach.

Shannon yawned largely, and felt the wind suddenly blow up her hot pink mini skirt. She really couldn't be bothered adjusting it as she had enough to deal with on her plate without worrying about perverts checking her out.

Shannon thought the beach looked extremely empty. Clearing her eyes she noticed there was a not a single soul on the beach, and the sun was just setting. No Kate, No Sayid, No Claire, No anyone. Shannon peered along the beautiful beach for any sign of a human being.

She spotted a group of randoms she had never met before sitting around a small fire, but Shannon wouldn't dare approach them with their daggy clothes and frizzy hair.

The only other source of humanity was the good-looking southern guy called Sawyer.

Choosing the latter, Shannon strolled over to his tent and stood in the doorway. Her figure was blocking the last of the sun entering the small, but cozy tent. Noticing this, Sawyer looked up and grinned at his visitor.

"Where the hell is everyone?" She asked crossly, trying to not look at the hillbilly's bare chest.

"Hey, Sticks." He said coolly in his infamous southern drawl.

"Where the hell is everyone?" She repeated, feeling that this guy was going to get on her last nerve.

"Whoa, Sweet Cheeks, hold on a sec. I think the Castaways hiked on up to Cave town."

"Why?" She asked.

"How should I know? Nobody round here even wants to talk to little ol' me." He said smirking.

She sat down next to him and sighed.

"Somethin' wrong, Sticks?" He asked, enjoying her company.

"If you think that losing my mother, father, brother and everything else that I care about in life slowly crumbling away beneath me as something wrong, than yes, I have to say there's something wrong," She said quickly.

Sawyer stared at her. No one had ever really talked to him about their life and problems before. "Ok then…"

She heavily sighed again. This guy wasn't going to help her at all. She kept feeling worse by the second as she thought of her brother.

"Who ya lookin' for anyway, Sticks?" He asked. "Muhammad?"

"You mean Sayid? No, I was looking for Kate."

"Oh," he said, rather confused. He had never thought the two hottest woman on the island actually got along. He ran a hand through his golden hair and said rather slyly, "Well, puddin', you can always talk to me."

"Not unless you have suddenly become the best secret keeper, listener and advice giver on the island," She laughed.

"Guess that's a no then," He smirked again.

Shannon noticed this guy smirked a lot, probably because he was a con-man and could easily seduce women. Shannon was forcefully reminded of how easily she used to seduce men, and thought that she and Sawyer actually might have something in common.

Shannon's eyes traveled through the tent, from Sawyer's bare chest to the ground where a suitcase full of looted stuff was hidden beneath his airplane chair. Next to the suitcase, Shannon spotted Boone's old book, Watership Down. She felt her eyes becoming hot and watery as she remembered how Boone had tried to get her inhalers for her, but when he failed, he spent the whole day sitting next to her, keeping her safe. She had never thanked him, and never would be able to.

Suddenly, she broke into tears and found she didn't give a damn about what others thought anymore. The only thing that mattered anymore was that Boone was gone forever, and she couldn't apologize to him for the horrible things she had done to him.

Sawyer frowned at the crying girl. She was so hot, yet so innocent. Sawyer felt that he should comfort her, and perhaps he would get something nice, like sex, in return. But as he stared at the crying Sticks, he felt awful for her, and sex was driven out of his mind.

"Darl, please stop crying, it's not gonna do us any good."

Shannon looked up. He was right. But Shannon was surprised to see that sympathetic look in Sawyer's eyes.

"Look, how bout we share our problems? I'll talk about some of mine, and you talk about some of yours. We each feel better telling someone about these things and we get to know each other better."

Shannon reckoned he only wanted to get to know her sex-life a little better, but felt slightly better anyway. She wasn't the only one on Craphole Island that had problems in their past.

"Are you serious?"

"Hell yes," He told her.

She nodded and wiped her red and puffy eyes.

"Alrighty then. When I was 8 years old, my father found out this man had sex with my mother and taken all of his money. So my father got pissed off and shot my mamma and blew 'is own head off. That man's name... was Sawyer."

Shannon looked at him sadly as if to say "I'm sorry". "Sawyer's not your real name then?"

"Nope, but I'm not telling you what it is 'till you tell me your story." He said, matter-of-factly.

"Hey!" She countered, "You're not even finished your story yet!"

"Fine!" He replied, letting her beat him at his game. "After my parents died, I was sent off to live with my grandparents, who died when I was nine. So I kept movin' from orphanages to foster homes, until I was 18… when I became a con-man and gave myself the name Sawyer."

"So why were you in Australia?"

"'Cause a man I worked with told me he knew that this Sawyer guy, who worked in Aus. I found the guy, shot him, and right before he died, he told me he only owed money to the guy I worked with."

Shannon gasped. "So he set you up?'

"Yep, I killed an innocent man." He looked away from her.

Shannon felt herself giving sympathy to a guy, who obviously had a worse past than she had. But she still felt guilty for all the horrible things she had done.

"Fine, I'll tell you my story, then."

Sawyer nodded.

"When I was 8, my father mar-"

"God, everyone comes to Sawyer these days," Interrupted a feisty female voice.

Turning around, Shannon saw Kate standing at the entrance to Sawyer's tent.

"Like I said, no one can resist my southern charm," He said winking, emphasizing his accent on "no one".

"That got old after the second time you said it, Sawyer," laughed Kate, flipping back her gorgeous, curly brown hair from on her face.

Sawyer smirked. He had the two hottest ladies on the island in front of him, not to mention that Mamacita had been in here before. He felt extremely lucky today.

Shannon observed the fact that both Kate and Sawyer were avoiding each other's gaze.

"Hey Kate, I was looking for you before."

"Yeah, sorry about that, Sayid wanted to tell everyone about something…" Kate's voice trailed off.

Shannon got an evident feeling that Sayid had called a meeting that had something to do with her.

"You ok, hon?" Kate asked her.

"Yeah, I'm fine, now that Sawyer and I have had a lovely chat," She said, trying to keep a straight face.

Shannon saw Kate's and Sawyer's eyes meet, and then sharply look away.

Kate turned around and said, "Better get back to my tent, it's getting dark now."

Shannon nodded, and hopped up. "I need to get back to my tent, as well."

Sawyer gaped at her like a fish. "Oh, Sugar. Tryin' to get out of telling your story to Auntie Sawyer now?"

"Bye, Bye. It's been nice chatting with you!" Shannon giggled, running out of his tent to catch up with Kate.

"Hey, come back here, Sticks!" He cried out to her.

She just laughed at him and ran out of his line of vision.

"Women," He grumbled.


	4. Finish what you Start

**Chapter 4: Finish what you Start**

**Characters: Shannon, Kate, Sayid, Boone.**

**A/N: Hey everyone thanks so much for the reviews! I feel so happy when I get them so please keep them coming. Here's a shorter chap, but I should have the next one up soon!

* * *

**

"What was that about?" Kate asked, laughing.

"The Sawyer thing? I was desperate to talk to someone, and no one was around. So I thought, 'Hey, why not go to the southern guy rather than the bunch of fashion retards?'" She replied cheerfully.

"God, you do seem so much happier now. Sure Sawyer didn't drug you?"

"Hah! He wouldn't dare mess with me," She giggled.

Kate stared at her strangely. Was this really the girl that had been crying her eyes out before? Kate actually hadn't heard Shannon giggle before, and it was a strange feeling.

Shannon spotted a lone figure waiting outside of Shannon's tent. He was dark, and had black curly hair. "Crap! What's Sayid doing in front of my tent?"

"Waiting for you to come back?" Kate shrugged.

Shannon foolishly jumped behind Kate.

"What the hell are you doing?" said Kate, raising her eyebrows at the girl.

"I don't feel like talking to him right now," She whispered, crouching low.

"Oh c'mon," Kate said aggressively. "Why not?"

"I kinda don't want to talk to him because he kinda knows Boone was in love with me, and he's gonna keep apologizing to me, like he did last night." She hissed angrily.

"You told him?"

"Yeah, but I forgot to mention the part where I loved my supposed brother back."

"Oh god," Kate sighed, slightly irritated. She slowly moved so Shannon would be hidden behind a tree, and then paced over to Sayid.

"Kate, have you seen Shannon?" He questioned.

"No, not since this morning. But she might have gone and seen Jack."

Sayid raised his eyebrows.

"You know… for the stress." Kate made the sentence sound more like a question than a statement.

Sayid put a hand to his forehead, still in disbelief. "Right, well if you see her, please tell her I'm looking for her."

"Ok."

The man paced away quickly, probably heading towards the caves.

Kate gestured for Shannon to come out of her hiding place and enter her tent before he came back.

"Real smooth," Shannon said, with a straight face, but she wanted to burst out laughing.

"You know you have to talk to him sometime," Kate reminded her cheekily.

Shannon shrugged absently and said, "I just hope he reaches the caves before he realizes Jack is lost somewhere in the Magical Forest."

"Oh man, I forgot about that!" Kate smiled innocently. She looked up at the starry sky. _Where are you Jack?

* * *

_

_A little girl wept tragically into her father's tender arms. Her shiny, blonde hair glistened in the trickle of the rain and stuck to her red and puffy face as she moped. Her father was also trying hard not to collapse and cry devastatingly. There were standing in a graveyard, and in front of them lay a large black coffin, with gold writing inscribed at the edges. The pair tried to drag their blank eyes from the coffin in depression._

_People were swarmed around them, and the dark grey sky seemed to reflect their mood; gloomy and sad. _

_The girl looked away. She just couldn't stand it. Her mother was gone… forever. On the other side of the graveyard, she could see another funeral commencing. At the front stood a beautiful blonde woman that had to be around her father's age. She was gently crying, well at least the girl thought she was, as it was impossible to tell from this distance and the fact that the lady was wearing a veil, like the ones women wore to their weddings… except black._

_In front of the woman stood a small boy that looked slightly older than the little girl. He was quite attractive for his age, with brown hair and wild eyebrows. The boy had a blank look on his face as he stared at the ground. She continued to watch the boy, until his head looked up and they locked eyes. He had dreamy blue eyes like the ocean._

_She forcefully turned her head back towards her mother's coffin, which men in black suits had begun to lift up and slowly lower into the large square hole in the ground. _

"_Never forget… Jane Elizabeth Rutherford," The priest said, as the men began to bury the coffin._

_She burst into a fresh batch of tears and even a cold tear leaked down her father's face._

_Her father then strongly grabbed her arm and pulled her away. The crowd around them slowly departed, patting them on the back and saying farewell. The girl and her father stared blankly at the ground. She couldn't handle it anymore. Was it going to be like this every time someone in her life died? She found she never wanted to suffer like this ever again. She felt so empty, like there was nothing in life to live for._

_Across the graveyard, the second funeral had broken off, and the blonde woman and her son were also staring absently at the ground. The woman looked like she was trying to overcome her grief, but she was failing. The woman cleared her head and marched briskly over to the girl and her father, pulling along her son in the process._

"_Hello," she said softly, but courtly. "I'm very sorry about your loss. Was it your wife?"_

"_Thank you, and yes… it was my wife. Was it your husband that…?"_

"_Yes," She whimpered quietly._

"_I'm very sorry."_

"_Thank you. I thought I might introduce myself, for people who have suffered losses have to stick together after all. My name is Sabrina Carlyle," she declared, sticking out her hand elegantly._

_Sabrina wore a completely black ensemble. A Black top, black gloves, black skirt, black shoes, black veil and black stockings. Every piece if garment was perfect, with not a crease in sight. The girl could tell she was one of those richer people. Her son wore a black suit that didn't seem to suit him; he looked more like an unruly guy. _

"_Adam Rutherford," He reciprocated, extending his hand to shake Sabrina's. "This is my daughter, Shannon." He referred to the girl. _

"_This is my son, Boone." She replied, referring to the small boy, who nodded at Shannon and her father._

_Shannon kept noticing her father staring strangely at this woman. She also noticed that the boy called Boone was also staring at her strangely._

_Shannon thought he was kind of cute.

* * *

_

Yep, Boone was definitely going to haunt her every time she slept. It wasn't like she didn't think about him every waking second already. She shook her head and ran a hand over her hair, which was slightly ruffled. She took a mirror from her bag and adjusted her hair. She smiled as she looked at her make-up and decided to put it on. She had been hiding her hygienic and pampering products away from the rest of the survivors.

Yep, still that selfish little bitch.

She dragged herself up into a sitting position.

She stared at Boone's bag in the corner. She wanted to go through it, but she didn't want to. She was so curious, yet she didn't want to be a bitch invading people's privacy. Oh well, she was a bitch anyway.

She picked up the bag and pulled down the black zipper, and pulled the sides apart, making a wider opening.

Various objects lay in the bag: a wallet, a spare change of clothes and undergarments, a knife (Shannon really didn't want to know why he kept the knife there), some food and two full water bottles.

She opened the wallet and inspected it. In one of the pockets was $200 dollars, plus some of his credit cards. There were numerous pictures sided into a side pocket, such as a picture of Boone and his two best mates, Luke and Dan, a picture of his old girlfriend, Melissa (Shannon winced, remembering the only girl who distracted Boone from her, with her red locks and freckles, yet Shannon won over in the end,_ again_), a picture of his red shiny Porsche (men and their cars!) and a picture of… Boone and Shannon together, smiling…

She immediately began to cry again. When was she going to get over it? She felt like useless baggage, crying all the time. She suspected that she would never forget.

She stood up, remembering a smart thing that Sabrina Carlyle had once said. She was going to get over her grief, no matter how long it took. Even if she still loved him…

"_You must finish what you start."_

Shannon swung back her hair, placed Boone's bag and his wallet on the ground, and flung herself out onto the open beach.

She was heading towards Sawyer's tent.

* * *

Ok guys, I promise she'll talk to more people next chapter, including Sayid. I hope you all liked that chapter, I like making up back-story for Shannon and Boone. Remember to please review, and I'll be a happy bunny. XD

**Crazy4MaggieGrace: **Thanks! Yea, I think the Boone as the middle name thing was really cute. : P. Hmm, there could be some Shannon/Sawyer action, but I'm more a fan of a Shannon/Sawyer friendship rather than relationship, but I still like the ship. The only one Shannon will ever be right with is Boone though, lol. Please update Lost Hearts in Manhattan! Hehe.

**msmith4815**: Yes, Boone is very pretty isn't he? Lol, I love the whole "You slept with your sodding BROTHER?" and "Dude!" I might actually us that, if you don't mind. Lol.

**gimmeabreak: **Doesn't everyone wish Boone could be brought back to life? I'd like to do that, except that my story would become sort of like the story "Second Chances" where Boone is alive again. Yea, Shannon and Sayid just don't go together.

**katexsawyer**** and ****everwoodgirl04**: thanks so much for reviewing guys!


	5. Useless

**Chapter 5: Useless**

**Characters: Shannon, Sawyer, Kate, Sayid, Claire and Sun.**

**A/N: Hey everyone here's the next chapter. Pwease R&R which does not mean Read and Run!

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**

"Look whose back. Couldn't stay away darlin'?"

"You should thank me for actually coming to talk to you, as no one ever does."

"Feelin' sorry for me?"

"When someone is hated by the whole island, you usually find sympathy somewhere in your heart, even if you hate their guts."

"I'll take that as a compliment, Sticks." He smirked. "So watcha really doin' back here?"

"I have no finish what I start," She said coolly.

"And what's that puddin'?"

"My story," Shannon declared, crossing her arms.

He gave her a funny look. _She actually came back?_

Shannon sat down on Sawyer's legs, and watched him wince. "When I was eight years old, my father married a woman called Sabrina Carlyle. She had a ten-year-old son… called Boone." She said quickly.

Sawyer stared at her, shock etched into his handsome face.

"You 'n' Metro ain't blood related?"

"No."

"Aah, that would explain a lot."

"Like what?" demanded Shannon curiously.

"Like why you two seemed so close, waaay to close for siblings. Also, he kept telling off Ali when he spent time with you and he kept staring at you."

Shannon was taken back. Had they really been that obvious? She bit her lip in concern.

"But don't worry, cupcake, no one would guess anything unless they knew."

She still looked worried, but ploughed on with her story anyway. "So, as we got older, I found that Boone would do whatever I wanted… because he was in love with me. I had heaps of boyfriends, and he was jealous of them all. He'd talk to them, and he would get bashed up unless he paid them."

Sawyer found he wasn't as astounded with this information as the whole non brother-sister thing.

"Paid them? Was he loaded?"

"Yeah, Sabrina ran this huge wedding business, so he was bloody rich. When I was seventeen, my father died, and Sabrina practically abandoned me because she hated me, but Boone always stuck by me. The death of my father drove me into alcohol and drugs, and when I was eighteen, I married a guy a really didn't love."

"So I'm guessin' you ain't married anymore?"

"I got a divorce, like, less than a month later," She sighed. "Boone was right, again."

Sawyer noted the emphasis put on "again" and was sure it wasn't the first time old Metro was right.

"What a tragic story, Princess."

"It gets worse," she droned on. "I met this guy called Bryan, who lived in Australia. I had spent, like, all the money on my credit cards, and being the expensive girl I am, I needed money."

"So you called on Metro."

"Exactly," she confessed. "I pretended that Bryan had hurt me. Boone came to the rescue and gave the money to my boyfriend." She paused dramatically, and noticed that Sawyer was giving her his undivided attention.

"That jackass takes the money and ditches me, but not before beating the hell out of Boone."

Sawyer was frowning, but still listening attentively.

"I went to Boone's hotel, right? And I had sex with him," She finished, staring down at her perfectly painted pink toenails, as to avoid eye-contact.

The wind seemed to rustle past in the absence of talking.

Sawyer pretty much understood, but was still trying to adjust that this girl had told him that she had sex with someone that he had believed to be her brother for the last month. But hey, who wouldn't want to have sex with her?

"Did you love him?" he spoke up, seriously.

"Umm… yeah," She confessed dramatically.

"Ahh," was his reply.

"Ahh, what?"

"Nothin'."

"So what should I do then?" She asked desperately.

"I dunno, ya can't exactly tell Metro how ya feel."

"I wish I could…" Her voice trailed off, in a whisper.

"Ya gonna tell Omar?"

"Tell Sayid I'm in love with my dead brother? No way!"

"Why not?"

"For one, it sounds so gross saying you had sex with a family member. Two, I'll sound like a necrophiliac!" She shuddered.

Sawyer burst out laughing.

Shannon flushed pink with embarrassment, matching her toenails and pink stilettos. She kicked the ground and turned away from him. God, she missed Boone so much.

Shannon felt a tear run down her soft face.

"Don't you go cryin' again, Puddin'" He warned her.

She smiled. "I guess everyone on this island has a terrible past. It's not something I should think that only I have."

He nodded, and she felt grateful. "You haven't got the worst past either, I'm sure it was only the family portion?"

Shannon shook her head numbly. "Nope, I failed everything at school, everyone hated me, I felt like this huge sex tool and not to mention I conned my brother."

"Well… you haven't killed a man, have ya?" He asked her.

She stared at him sadly. No, she hadn't, but it felt as though she had killed Boone.

"I've killed a man, Sonny Jim the rock star has killed a man, Aljeezera has probably killed a lot of men, Captain Jackass has probably failed to save people, and Kate has killed a man."

Shannon stared at him, her mouth wide in shock. "Kate has killed a man?"

"So she told me," He said winking.

"Oh yeah? And what else has she told you?"

"That's for me to know, and you to find out."

"Oh come on! I hate when people say that!" She complained loudly.

He chuckled mischievously. "What I'm highlighting though, is to not beat yourself up so much."

She nodded, having no idea how understanding he was.

"People just ain't what that appear." He finished, referring to her, and in Shannon's view, possibly Kate.

"I didn't know Metro all that well, but, I'm sure he was a great guy. A real pretty prince to rescue a purdy princess."

Shannon smiled appreciatively, wiping her face.

"Yeah, he's always there…" She voiced faltered near the end, and she finally realized that Boone would never again be there for her.

Thankfully, she spotted Claire lazing about down by the shore- baby free. "Perfect excuse," She thought evilly.

"I'm going to go visit Claire," She said, getting up off his legs.

"Why do you always have to leave when we're in the middle of discussin' somethin'?"

"Cause I said so!" She countered, sounding like a VIP.

He grumbled words she couldn't, and didn't want to hear.

"Sawyer," she mumbled kindly. "Please don't tell anyone about me."

"Hillbilly's honor. As long as you don't tell anyone bout me?"

"Rich bitch's honor," she smirked.

He smiled back, and returned to his Car Magazine as she pranced away.

Shannon stopped abruptly, halfway down to the shore, suddenly remembering something.

"Hey Sawbucks!" She called loudly. "You never told me what your name was!"

Even from this distance, she could see his charming, infamous smirk.

"James!" He called out after her.

She smiled to herself._ James... I like that.

* * *

_

Skipping merrily down she noticed what a beautiful day it was. Fresh air and a hot sun, perfect for tanning. Unfortunately, she remembered how Boone used to call her "useless" when she did that, and tried to think of a more productive use of her time.

She got teary as she remembered it…

"_Don't you see the way they look at us around here? They don't take us seriously. We're a joke. I'm trying to contribute something. You're just . . . you're useless."_

She closed her eyes, wishing away the memory. As much as she was trying to convince herself that he was wrong, she knew he was right. That was probably the most hurtful thing he had ever said to her, and she deserved it. She was useless.

"Hey Claire!" She called cheerfully, trying to forget the memory.

"Oh hey, Shannon," She replied, looking back at her and putting her hand against her forehead to block out the light. Claire still looked terribly exhausted.

"Baby free?"

"Yes, thank God. I finally got Charlie and Hurley to watch him."

Shannon laughed, hoping that Hurley would not sit on the kid. She mentally kicked herself; what an awful thing to say! Shannon was going to stop being a cow, staring from right now.

"So, you and Charlie seem pretty close." Said Shannon cheekily, sitting down next to her and nudging her obviously.

"Maybe," she shrugged. "I like him, but considering what happened to my last relationship."

Shannon gave her a curious look.

"My ex dumped me in my second trimester when he was the one who told me to keep the damn baby in the first place."

Shannon whistled low. "God, what a bastard."

"I know, right?"

Shannon gave a sympathetic smile.

"I… I was going to give him away for adoption." Claire muttered.

"I guess fate brought us here, then."

"I guess so…" She whispered, painfully thinking of Boone.

Shannon wondered why she and Claire had hardly ever spoken before.

"Did we… uhh… did we talk before I got kidnapped?" Claire asked, seeming to be thinking along the same lines as Shannon.

"One conversation. And that was about you thinking Boone was my boyfriend, and how you used to have a figure." Shannon laughed. "But I've changed now… well at least I think I have." She mumbled.

"Thank you," Claire smiled.

"For what?"

"After I returned to camp that day, when I didn't remember anyone, Charlie was the only one that looked me in the eye. I knew something was going on, and you were the one with any decency to tell me what was happening."

"Any time," Shannon grinned back.

"So…" Claire said, trying to make a conversation. "What's going on between Kate and Sawyer? Or you and Sawyer?" She looked back at Sawyer's tent and nodded.

Shannon chuckled heartily. "There is absolutely nothing going on between me and Sawyer. We're just friends. One day I had no one to talk to so I decided to talk to him. You never would have guessed it, but he actually is quite a good listener, and bargain dealer."

Claire looked delighted that Shannon was making friends. "Yeah, he is quite nice, for some reason Aaron likes his voice, and he was reading to us before."

Shannon nodded gracefully. Claire had always admired Shannon's looks.

"But, I have no idea what's going on between Kate and Sawyer."

"Yeah, it's a mystery. Even more so when you chuck Jack into the mix."

"The Great Island Love Triangle!" Shannon beamed, throwing her arms back and sprawling out in the soft sand, where she curled up like a cat.

* * *

Jack ambled back onto the beach, and collapsed in a heap.

"Jack!" A familiar voice cried, running to him. She gently slapped his face until his eyelids fluttered open.

"Hey, Kate," he coughed.

"Where the hell were you? I was worried about you."

"Looking for Locke," he replied casually, grabbing a water bottle that Kate was offering to him.

"I saw him at camp a few hours ago," she said softly, helping Jack to his feet.

He sighed largely, and raised his head wearily to meet Kate's eyes.

"How is everyone? Shannon? Claire? The baby?" He wheezed, almost collapsing again.

She cried again and placed him on the ground. "Everyone's fine Jack. Except you that is."

Jack chuckled and took two large breaths, inhaling and exhaling.

Kate looked at him sadly, then grabbed a water bottle from her bag and put it to Jack's lips, where he began to drink heartily.

"So what have you been doing while I was gone?" He inquired nervously.

"Chatting," she said simply. "With Sayid, Claire, Shannon and Sawyer."

Jack looked slightly angry as she mentioned the last person, however Kate didn't notice.

* * *

Sun was hidden behind a large tree. She watched with admiration as her husband helped built the raft. She hadn't noticed how painful it was not talking to him, especially as he didn't want to start over with her again. She promised him that she wouldn't ever lie to him, and this was a huge lie. Of course, he had lied to her about what he did for her father that led her to believe that he was a murderer. She knew Jin was too gentle for that.

She noticed some movement come out of the bush and turned to see Jack collapse. Kate pretty much had it under control, but she wanted to help. She felt only slightly worse than Jack when it came to the topic of Boone. She had watched him die, cough up blood and listen to him breathe in a barely audible voice. She slowly made a bee-line towards Jack.

* * *

Shannon returned to her tent later, after talking to Claire. The sunset was so beautiful, but she took no notice, as she placed herself on her airplane chair, she got out her mirror from her bag and began adjusting her make-up.

She sighed as she put on her foundation. Was she ever going to forget her brother? She desperately wanted to know the truth behind Boone's death, and why the hell he had been avoiding her. That made her think of Locke.

Only as she was applying her blush did she notice the Iraqi standing in the doorway. She dropped her make-up in shock.

"Good evening," he smiled.

"God, please don't creep up on me like that again!" She demanded and smiled back.

She hadn't actually talked to him in _aggess. _Ok, maybe a day, but still. She looked into his dark, deep but warm eyes, and swore she saw a hint of piercing blue.

"How are you feeling?" he asked warmly, cupping her face and gently kissing on her forehead.

"Do I really have to answer that?" She asked wearily.

Sayid looked sad. "No, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked that."

"No, it's not your fault. Plus, everyone asked me that all day yesterday."

He brushed back her hair for her, and wrapped his arms around her in a close hug. "Every thing is going to be alright."

Shannon pulled back from him, with a sudden idea. "You asked if you could do anything for me."

"Anything."

"John Locke killed my brother. Will you do something about that?"

* * *

**A/N: Alright, as you can tell, this is moving along the lines of The Greater Good. This story is going to continue through the episides to sometime in the second season. I hope you liked that! Please Review!**


	6. I never

**Chapter 6: I never**

**Characters: Shannon, Sawyer, Kate.**

**A/N: Here's the next chapter guys, sorry it took so long! I'll try to have the next chappie up sooner! Thanks to all of my reviewers! Especially katexsawyer and October Sky! You guys made me feel special, lol. Please keep reviewing!

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**

The next day Shannon woke up with the feeling of less weight on her shoulders. For once, she was sleeping peacefully, without having to visit nightmares. Sayid was going to try and figure out the whole Boone/Locke thing. A pang of guilt made her think she was using Sayid. She liked him, but asked way too much of him.

Like most days on Mystery Island, the weather was hot, and had an uneven cool breeze that restrained the high temperature. If her brother hadn't died, if there weren't other randoms that kidnap pregnant women and there weren't polar bears on the island, Shannon reckoned that this could be a pretty nice place.

She met Kate down on the beach, who was oddly enough, sinking into the sand.

"What the hell are you doing?" Shannon demanded, unable to control her laughter.

"I am sinking, can't you tell?" Kate said obviously, pointing towards her sand covered feet.

"No shit, Sherlock," Shannon laughed, using one of her favorite comebacks.

Kate gave her a funny but curious look, which Shannon guessed was a "What the hell?" type of look.

"You aren't a really social girl are you?" Shannon chortled.

"How did you guess?" Kate grinned awkwardly. She turned back towards the sea and mumbled, "I didn't have time for social things as a teen."

"Why not?" Shannon asked, jumping forward like a little girl.

"Let's just say I had a stuffed up life," Kate mumbled again, trying desperately to avoid Shannon's curious gaze, which seemed to bore into the back of her head.

"You too, huh?" Shannon smirked in understanding. Moments later, Shannon remembered Sawyer telling her Kate had killed someone, and wished she hadn't said anything.

Shannon wheeled around began to leave Kate, deciding she needed to be alone. Shannon thought that she stuffed everything up.

"Hey," said Kate, turning around and stopping Shannon. "Where are you going?"

"Over to Sawyer's," Shannon shrugged. "He's like my new stress ball," she laughed, miming squeezing her hands against something.

"I'll come," Kate said strongly, moving over to the blonde and smiling.

Shannon guessed that sometimes, Kate _didn't _want to be alone,

Together, the pair walked over to Sawyer's tent, both cheerful and smiling. Shannon noted that she never saw Kate all smiley and happy, Sawyer noticed this as well.

"I must be the luckiest man on the whole island," said the southern voice.

"You wish, Jamesy," snarled Shannon in mock anger.

Kate snorted loudly. "Jamesy!"

Sawyer threw them an evil glare.

"Jamesy?" Kate repeated, becoming hysterical with laughter. Shannon smiled as Kate laughed so much she collapsed onto the spare airplane chair in the corner of the room.

"What the hell is so funny?" Sawyer said crossly.

"Wait!" puffed Kate. "Your name is James?"

"What if it is?"

Kate burst into a new fits of laughter, and Shannon couldn't help but burst out laughing as well. Even though it wasn't so funny anymore, Shannon was influenced by Kate's newfound laughter to start herself.

Sawyer was giving the pair the strangest looks as they cried with laughter. He tried to return to his book, but found the noise too distracting.

"Will you broads bloody well cut it out? A guy is tryin' to read over here! At least put the volume down a notch."

A couple of long and agonizing minutes later for Sawyer, the girls finally stopped laughing. The two most unlikely girls on the island to laugh had absolutely broken down in front of him.

They were all breathing heavily, panting and puffing. The laughing had taken most of their energy. Shannon paced herself on the edge of Sawyer's seat and laid her head back onto Sawyer's bare chest.

Kate and Sawyer smiled sheepishly at each other in unison.

"I have an idea!" Shannon shot up suddenly. "We should play I never!"

The other two smirked sheepishly in unison and gave each other obvious grins that made Shannon think they were hiding something. She eyed them suspiciously, while they both averted her preying eyes.

"Well, have you guys played this before?"

"You could say that," Kate answered mischievously, pushing a stray hair out of her face, so she could distract herself.

Sawyer reached swiftly into his bag and pulled out three small bottles of alcohol.

Kate glared at him in shock. "I thought you gave all the alcohol to me!" She cried in outrage.

Shannon stared at her in disbelief. Why was she becoming so angry? It was just a bit of alcohol.

"Jack needed that alcohol to try and save Boone's life!"

Silence followed this, the group obviously in deep thought. Sawyer looked hurt with his cute frown etched on his face, and both Shannon and Kate were close to tears.

She mumbled meekly, "That alcohol could have saved him?"

Kate shook her head sullenly. "Sorry. I over-reacted. Jack said… that he was lost anyway."

Shannon nodded, fighting the tears. She wasn't going to get upset. She was going to stay strong and brave.

"So anyway, I'll begin," Sawyer broke the silence, driving the conversation away from death. "I never kissed a man."

Shannon took a bottle off Sawyer and sipped a tiny bit. Kate gaped at him while she took her own drink. "Oh no!"

Sawyer grinned playfully.

"I never wore pink," Kate gleamed, watching as Sawyer took a drink.

Shannon laughed openly. "You never wore pink?"

Kate shook her head, obviously in thought about her past.

"My go," Shannon exclaimed proudly, throwing back her hair elegantly.

"I never… kissed a woman."

Sawyer chucked his hands up and drunk, eyeing Kate out of the corner of his eye. Strangely enough, Kate flushed and also took a drink. Shannon stared at her in surprise.

She shrugged innocently and said, "When you're a teenager you want to try everything. Even if you aren't a very social teenager."

Shannon took notice of how smug Sawyer looked when she said that.

"I never been to Disneyland," he drawled, in his southern tone.

Kate remained still and watched Shannon raise the bottle to her glossy lips.

"My step-mum was a real cow. She didn't care about me, just about my Dad. So she gave Boone some money and told him to take me to Disneyland…" she trailed off.

Kate continued, "I never been in love with a family member."

Shannon chuckled lightly as she drunk more, becoming slightly tipsy. Sawyer became slightly outraged. "Hey, you skipped my turn!"

The comment was ignored by the girls, as Shannon continued.

"I never… tried to commit suicide…"

Shaking, both Sawyer and Kate took a drink, avoiding each others visions.

It was a few moments until Sawyer said, "I've never been in love."

Kate smiled. "Are you just gonna repeat everything we said last time."

Quickly and sharply, Shannon rounded on them angrily. "Wait! You guys have played this together before?"

Sawyer shrugged and flashed his dimples while Kate said, "Yeah."

"So are either of you two ladies gonna answer my question?"

"I'm pretty sure you know the answer for both of us," Kate said.

There were another couple of moments of silent, with Shannon and Sawyer watching Kate, waiting for her next turn.

"I never… had a one night stand."

"Oh c'mon! You're naggin' me about using one that we have before? You're just a hypocrite, Freckles."

"Neither of us has much originality, Sawyer."

"I never killed a man," Shannon cut across them.

Kate stared at her in amazement, and accidentally dropped her alcohol bottle on the ground. "How did you kn-"

"I told her," Sawyer said quickly.

Kate nodded. The group sat in silence for another couple of minutes, each thinking about their lives.

As Shannon watched the beautiful sunset, from the hole in Sawyer's tent, she saw a familiar figure cross the beach and enter her tent. Sayid was back.

She found herself musing about what he was going to tell her. Did he know what happened? Could he even find Locke? What did Locke tell him?

Moments later, Sayid came out of Shannon's tent and was approaching Sawyer's tent.


	7. Fire and Ice

**Fire and Ice**

Characters: Shannon, Sayid, Jack, Kate, Locke.

Setting: The Greater Good.

Disclaimer. I don't own Lost. End of story.

A/N: Here's the next chapter. Sorry it took so long. Do you guys think I should keep going? Only one person seems to be reviewing. hugs October Sky So guys please review, I'll feel so special, lol.

* * *

"I'll be going now," Shannon jumped up, motioning to Sayid, and running out of the tent.

"Umm… me too," Kate said, also jumping up. "I have to go check on Jack."

Sawyer sighed as he too got up and followed the girls out of the tent. Once Shannon seemed to leave, the whole group seemed to drift apart. These days he did feel really awkward around Kate, and seemed to feel strange whenever she was around. He shook his head to clear his thoughts. He was thinking weird. It was probably because he wasn't wearing his nerd patrol glasses.

Outside of the tent, Shannon tried desperately to look as though she just hadn't walked out of Sawyer's tent. Too late, Sayid was already walking briskly over to Shannon, but he seemed to disregard the location of her whereabouts.

"How are you? Do you want to take a walk?" He asked her in his soft, kind voice.

"Sure," she replied, nodding numbly.

The two began to walk slowly down the beach. When they had reached a place that was relatively far off from the rest of the survivors he took her hand.

"I spoke to Locke," He said eventually, as if it was nothing.

"What did he say?" Shannon asked, trying to keep her voice calm and not demanding.

"He took me to the plane. I believe what happened was an accident. "

Shannon couldn't believe that. An accident? Who was Sayid kidding? The guy has murder printed all over his wrinkled old body and bald shiny head. Oh and there was also the major giveaway of having Boone's blood all over his shirt!

"Then why did he lie?" She almost cried in disbelief, ignoring the creeping Kate and Sawyer who were trying to go past unnoticed not wanting to endure the conversation. However, Sayid seemed oblivious to everything besides Shannon.

"I have no idea. But I don't believe he meant to harm Boone," he answered honestly.

"So that's it?" She said, pulling away from him, unable to control her emotions.

"I know how strong the need can be to find someone to blame." His voice was so sweet and caring, but Shannon didn't give a shit.

She could not honestly believe how stupid he was being. He had no idea what she was feeling. She just felt like shouting "Blame? He killed my fricking brother!"

"You don't get it, do you?" Luckily, she was only screaming in her head.

"Shannon," he breathed.

"Just forget about it, okay?" she actually did shout, storming off as far as possible.

She was angry. Angry at Locke. Angry at Sayid. She was even angry at her stupid brother for going and dieing on her! She felt so alone. She thought she could count on Sayid, but he had betrayed her, just like they all had done in the end.

Suddenly she realized the most logical thing to do. Go after John Locke.

OK, it wasn't the most logical choice, but if she killed Locke, she would feel better. She wanted to make him pay. But how?

The guns! Sayid had showed them to her after the whole Ethan and Claire thing. But Jack had the key, how could she get it? Suddenly her prayers were answered as she saw Jack sleeping nearby. Her instincts told her to look for Kate. Yes! She was talking with Sun! Shannon seized the opportunity and hurried over to Jack.

She carefully removed the key from his neck. She couldn't wake him up. Hopefully he wouldn't even realize the key was gone when he woke up.

After successfully nabbing the key, she raced through the jungle, ignorant of the trees and bushes in her way. She tried to remind herself for the tenth time of why she was pursuing such an idiotic task. A simple word: payback.

She pushed aside the low branches as she searched the ground of the Halliburton case. "Where is it?" she grumbled frantically.

To make matters worse, it had begun to rain. Though surprisingly, the frizz of her hair didn't seem to matter to Shannon so much anymore. All she cared about was her goal.

Her eyes spotted a dash of silver during her search. She practically ripped the bush apart in a frenzy and opened the Halliburton case. She sighed with relief as she saw the guns lying there.

* * *

Jack woke up that evening. As soon as he sat up his head seemed to spin. He shook his head and smiled as he saw Kate sitting by him. She smiled back.

"Hey - brought you something to eat," she said, pointing to the coconut filled with a substance in her hand.

"What's in it, chloroform?" He joked.

"Soup," she said seriously.

"Thanks, but I think I'll. . ." He stopped, running his hand around his neck as if searching for something. "Who was in here?"

"I don't know, what's the matter?" she asked, confused.

"Was anybody in here?" he asked urgently, tracing along his neck again and trying to get up.

"No, why are you. . ."

He cut across her sharply. "The key to the gun case, it's gone."

Kate was confused. Who would have taken it? Maybe Jack was just imagining things.

"Maybe it fell off this morning."

"It didn't fall off," he responded, a hint of anger rising in his voice.

"What's going on?" asked Sayid, joining them.

"Locke took the key - he's after the guns."

Locke? Of course Jack would think of Locke first. "I haven't seen him all day, you don't know that. . ." Kate trailed off and got cut off my Jack again.

"No, then who was it?" his voice as becoming slightly panicky.

Sayid's heart sank. She had taken it. She had wanted revenge. "Jack, it wasn't Locke."

* * *

Shannon's had begun puffing as she traveled through the jungle. Besides walking to the cave, she had never really gone through the jungle before without someone, and hadn't realized how tiring and tough it was. She was pretty sure she was lost. But everything seemed so familiar, and it was as if the trees were pointing her.

Crunch. She snapped around. Someone was there. Her heart was beating rapidly. She raised her gun, and ran into the clearing to where the noise had come from.

* * *

Sayid, Jack and Kate dashed through the jungle in the pouring rain. Jack began to feel sick again and his fell to his knees. Sayid continued running, but Kate stopped to help him.

"Go. Go," he commanded her.

She bent down and slowly helped him up, and slowly, but steadily began to chase after Sayid who ran through the clearing and stopped in shock as he saw Shannon holding a gun. He swore under his breath.

"She doesn't believe me, Sayid," Locke told him, keeping his creepy gaze on Shannon at the same time.

"Shannon, Shannon, please listen to me," he begged her, inching towards her.

"He did it. I know it," she replied sternly, keeping fixed on Locke.

"You're not thinking rationally. You've never fired a gun before," he cried, trying to knock some sense into her,

Shannon fired the gun at the forest between Sayid and Locke as if to say "I have now."

"Shannon, you don't want to do this," he pleaded.

"Yes, I do," she said slowly.

"If you do it, you can never take it back."

The impact of those words hit her hard, even if she didn't show it on the outside. She could never have Boone back.

Sayid edged towards her.

At that moment, Jack and Kate rushed into the scene and stopped abruptly, taking in the drama before their eyes.

"Stay back!" Shannon called to them and then focused on Locke." What did you do to him?"

"I told you it was an accident," he answered sincerely.

"Shannon," Jack said, always moving towards her.

She stepped back. "Jack, you told me he was a liar."

Shannon breathed in heavily and pulled the trigger- right as Sayid tackled her. All though it didn't hit where she had intended it too, it still it him. Jack and Kate watched Locke fall to the ground.

Shannon screamed as she felt Sayid push her to the ground.

He stood up quickly and bent down to help her. "I'm sorry," he breathed, putting his arms around her.

"Don't!" she cried at him. "Get away."

Shesprinted away, tears stinging her gentle face. She had a stitch and it felt as though her heart was going to fall through her butt. She could hear someone running after her and calling her, but she was oblivious to everything. She hadn't killed Locke.

"Shannon!" a voice called her again, but she didn't stop running. She couldn't face Sayid.

She felt a gentle hand grab her own and she stopped, tears pouring down her face like the rain. She flipped around, as the unfamiliar hand touched hers. It was Kate.

Shannon burst into tears again and Kate leant forward and pulled her into a hug. She felt awkward. No one ever gave her hugs. Beside her Dad, the only other person that hugged her had been… well, who else?

"Shannon it's alright," she comforted her, patting her on the back.

"He's lying," she wept, "I just know he killed him."

"Even if he did, taking his life would be even worse. It will come back to haunt you, just as I'm sure that Boone is haunting Locke."

Shannon looked at her.

"You can never take killing someone back. You can't reverse time, but unfortunately that's something that we all have to deal with. Believe me, I would have taken the kill I made back if I knew how tormented I would be for the rest of my life, even if it caused me pain and suffering if I hadn't of done it," Kate told Shannon, almost on the verge of tears herself.

She smiled at her, and Shannon smiled back, wiping the tears from her eyes.

"Let's go back to camp," Kate said kindly

Shannon nodded, and walked back with her.

* * *

She had always thought fire was beautiful. The way it shined. The way it glistened.The way it danced. The way the colors blended and changed. The way it grew, and the way it shrank. The way that you could stare into it for hours and think about your life. Boone had always liked fire too.

Most of the survivors were avoiding her. People had revealed what had happened in the forest and now everyone was under the impression that she had gone crazy and was a senile nutcase. She honestly didn't care at the moment.

Kate had left her by the fire, to dry off and to think, and had told people to "give her time". Shannon reckoned that there wasn't enough time in the world for to think things over.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Sayid and Kate conversing. Kate said something, and he walked off. She sighed. She really had been stupid that day.

* * *

_Shannon sat in her apartment, crying her eyes out. She had no money, no Boone, no Dad and Sabrina was being a total bitch. She had got it, though. She could dance. The problem? She had no money. All she could afford was one bloody plane ticket. She was getting kicked out of her apartment soon. It seemed as though her life was tumbling downwards, like Alice down the rabbit hole._

_She didn't know what to do. She couldn't live with Boone, because he was going to work for his fricking mother. Her father was dead, and Sabrina had stolen all of the money. And now because of her, she couldn't dance. She had scared Boone away, she was going to show him that she was independent and she could do things without him. Unfortunately, she couldn't, and Boone knew that._

_She picked up a handbag, fixed her hair and makeup and went to the local bar. She was 18 now, thank God. Although, she just ordered a Diet Coke. She knew she was pathetic._

_"So what's a pretty girl like you doing here?" asked a man from behind her. He had a French accent._

_She looked at him. She gave a half smile; this guy was kind of attractive. Shannon was always with guy's school, and she could manipulate basically any man._

_"Where are you from?" she asked him, flicking her hair and smiling seductively._

_"France," he responded, smiling too._

_Shannon knew a bit of French. Maybe she could use this guy to her advantage._

_She would show Boone that she didn't need him. But hey, there was nothing to say that she couldn't use others though._


	8. Tears of Joy?

**Tears of Joy?**

**Setting: Part of Born to Run. So spoilers, obviously.**

**Disclaimer: I unfortunately don't own any of these characters. Well I own Nick, but he's not much of a character.**

**A/N: Ok, here's the next chapter. I hope you all like it. But if I stuffed up the wedding scene with either the "flashbacks" in them, or just the whole ceremony of it. I can't really remember how weddings work, lol.**

* * *

Shannon gazed out into the ocean. The breeze was gentle and cool. The sand was soft and squishy underneath her. The waves elegantly washed over and over the beach. Her mind was a train wreck. She couldn't stop thinking about him, and about almost killing Locke. She was so confused and she couldn't help thinking she was becoming slightly deranged. However, her thoughts kept being interrupted by the building of the raft. A large group of the survivors were crowded around it, talking and following the commands of Michael.

At first, the idea of a raft had been the most ludicrous thought since going into the middle of the jungle alone. Yet as Michael and Jin had progressed working on it, it had begun to attract many people, who were willing to get off this island. It actually was large, and looked as though it would work.

Shannon didn't think it was going to work though. Something about this island just seemed to tell Shannon it wasn't going to work. She had been thinking lately that perhaps… being on this island- this particular island- wasn't just a regular plane crash. Maybe they were meant to be on this island. Her thoughts drifted through a lot of ideas. Most of them seemed insane, but being on this island made her think otherwise.

Maybe this was some kind of government experiment? Or this was the ultimate season of "Survivor"? She forcefully reminded herself that on a game show, they wouldn't actually kill their contestants. She even thought of Purgatory. She mentally kicked herself. They weren't dead. However, this place made them all suffer. Everyone on this island seemed to have something bad in their past.

No matter why they were on the island, she just wanted to get the hell off.But suddenlyshe remembered that it was her fault that Boone was on the plane in the first place. What would she do if they went home? How could she tell Sabrina? Sabrina already hated her guts. Shannon had no friends anymore. No family. No job. No house. No real life.

Bringing herself back to reality, she noticed some fat guy was giving the raft crew a lecture, and it was certainly stirring things up.

Shannon didn't need to move closer, thank God, to hear what they were saying.

"Sure, you can absolutely wait a few weeks before you launch. I was just assuming you didn't want to die," the fat guy with the strange name said sarcastically.

"So, when is the next time we can launch?" asked Michael, obviously annoyed.

"3, maybe 4, months."

Shannon's perfect jaw dropped. _3 or 4 months?_ She couldn't stand the torment of Boone any longer. The guilt and the fact that she loved and missed him were already killing her.

" C'mon, even a weather man on TV don't know what's going to happen. Why are we listening to Arzt?" Sawyer said impatiently. For once that guy had a point.

"Because I'm a doctor," Arzt began. "and you're a hillbilly."

Shannon gave a laugh that turned out more like a snort.

"You're a damn high school science teacher," he retorted angrily.

"Hey, Sawyer, just let the man talk," Jack sighed.

"It's been raining every damn afternoon. That means that we are on the cusp on monsoon season. Monsoon season is bad. Now, the trade winds are blowing north right now - shipping lanes are north - so north is exactly where you want to be," Arzt said. Shannon had no idea what the hell that meant.

"What does that mean?" Michael asked, clearly also confused.

"It means that when monsoon season hits the trade winds are going to shift to the south. The raft goes with the wind. Can anyone tell me what is the only piece of land that is south of us?"

To be honest, Shannon didn't know whether she didn't understand any of this, or she just had too much on her mind to concentrate, but she knew it was bad.

"Antarctica," Jack said smartly.

"That's right Jack, Antarctica."

"So, when do we have to leave?" Michael groaned.

"Yesterday," Arzt shrugged, walking off leaving everyone looking disappointed.

Shannon didn't know if she wanted to leave this island anymore, she didn't really care. Anywhere she ended up; she was have to deal with the haunting thoughts of Boone, and nearly killing Locke.

She looked around the group, and saw Kate looking even more worried than everyone else. She got up quickly and caught up to Michael, who was heading up the beach.

Shannonheaved herself up and began to hurry over to Kate, who now seemed to be having a small fight with Michael. After a few moments, he left in a huff leaving Kate looking angry and disheveled.

"What do you want?" she spat, noticing Shannon, who looked rather disheveled herself.

"What was that about?" Shannon asked kindly, trying not to sound demanding.

"Michael won't let me on the raft," Kate replied simply, walking away.

"Kate!" Shannon cried, catching up to her.

"Listen, I'm not in the mood to talk right now," Kate told her.

"I'm sure you'd feel better by telling me," Shannon said sweetly, trying to givethe angelic smile that Boone mastered.

"Alright," Kate groaned, sitting down on the ground near her tent and patting the ground next to her, where Shannon joined her.

"I want to get on the raft, but Michael won't let me."

"Why not? And why do you want to go on that thing? It basically screams "death"."

"They already have four people," Kate explained. "Michael, Walt, Jin and..." she took a deep breath. "Sawyer."

Shannon stared at her in amazement. "Sawyer? Why does he want to risk his life for everyone else?"

"Exactly. Why does he have to go on it? He doesn't even know how to sail!" Kate complained loudly.

"Why do you want to go on it?" Shannon questioned her.

"Just because..." she paused. "I know how to sail and... well, that's not important! I know a lot more than Sawyer does."

Shannon took note of her annoyed voice. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, whatever."

"Is the reason you are annoyed because you can't go on the raft, or because it's Sawyer?"

Kate raised her eyebrows. "Both, I guess."

"So would you prefer if someone else, excluding you, went on the raft instead of Sawyer."

"What are you getting at?"

"Well, it's just that, well," she kept stumbling all over her words. "You and Sawyer seem to have a little relationship going on, and perhaps you would prefer if he didn't leave."

"Says the girl who is in love with her dead brother!" Kate shouted in rage, getting up and storming off.

"Kate! I didn't mean to upset you!" Shannon called. She shouldn't have said anything. She reminded herself that she wasn't good with relationships, especially the fact that the guy she loved most just happened to be her brother.

She sighed. She was pathetic. Every friendship she seemed to have, or relationship for that matter, never seemed to work out. She was forcefully reminded of how she stuffed up with Sayid. Where was he? She hadn't seen him all day. She found herself thinking that she didn't actually care.

She dragged herself up again and tried to find someone else to talk too. After a few minutes, she walked past a lot of people, all who seemed to be angry. Sun and Jin were talking in rapid Korean, and Sun looked as though she were about to burst into tears. Jack and Locke seemed to have ran off together. Sawyer and Michael seemed to belocked in abattle about the raft.

"You're going to vote me off, Mickey? And who the hell's going to take my place?" Sawyer shouted. Michael pointed towards Kate's tent.

Oh, shit.

Sawyer went marching off, pushing past her deliberately to get to Kate's tent. Shannon threw him a disgusted look before going and following him.

She jumped behind a tree, just in time to spy on their conversation.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Sorry?" asked Kate innocently, looking up at him with large eyes and blinking.

"Don't give me the awe-golly eyes. Michael just told me you were jockeying for my spot on the raft."

"I was just asking some questions. He must have misunderstood me," Kate lied, getting up and trying to escape.

He fiercely grabbed her arm and hissed at her, "I know what you're doing."

"Yeah?" Kate spat back.

Sawyer lowered his voice even more and whispered something, that Shannon guessed was nasty into Kate's ear. She looked shocked and blinked in surprise.

He gave his infamous smirk and began to leave her as she replied.

"Sawyer. I want your spot; I'll get your spot."

Shannon was watching in awe as the two stomped off in opposite directions, fire burning in their eyes. Shannon could tell that it wasn't going to be good. She and Boone had often had similar fights, but she could only stay mad at him for a few hours, sometimes only a few minutes. She hoped that Kate was the same. She was secretly rooting for those two.

She sneaked off without watching where she was going and accidentally hit Claire.

"Oh, god! I'm so sorry!" She looked into Claire's arms and saw relief. "Thank god you didn't have the baby with you."

"That's alright, Shannon," she replied sweetly. "Charlie's minding the baby again."

Claire looked up at Shannon, who was obviously troubled. "Something wrong?"

"Beside my dead brother?" she joked. "Just the fact that Sawyer and Kate are waging war on each other."

"Oh, no, that's too bad," Claire said warmly. "I always thought those two made a cute couple."

Shannon laughed heartily. "You too, huh?"

Claire smiled and the sunlight seemed to flow through the canopy and make her teeth dazzle.

"Speaking of cute couples, what's happening between Charlie and you?"

Claire was alarmed to see how quickly Shannon was recovering over her grief, but from the look in her eyes, Claire could tell that she was just hiding it.

"We're just friends," shrugged Claire, a little too innocently for Shannon's likes.

She smirked. "Friends? Sure…"

"Oh, be quiet," Claire giggled, rolling her eyes and giving Shannon a soft punch on the arm.

They both seemed to look over at the raft in unison.

"Do you think it's going to work?" Shannon asked her.

"I don't know. I hope it will. I'm trying to keep optimistic. Do you?"

"No," Shannon said sadly, watching Claire frown. "I'm pessimistic."

* * *

As she walked down the isle, it seemed to go on for an eternity. Each step she took seemed as though it went on for days. Her eyes scanned the vicinity, looking for him. But as far as she could tell, he was not there. She didn't expect him to be there, since she insulted him, tried to take his money for something he objected to, slapped him and didn't even invite him, but Shannon was hoping for one of those heroic rescues that you watch in movies, perhaps like the one in Shrek, minus the ogre part. At the end of the isle, at the top of the stairs, stood Nick; Shannon's future husband.

"_I need it because…well… Nick and I are getting married."_

_Boone spluttered on the Diet Coke he was drinking. "What!"_

_Shannon shrugged innocently again and staredinto Boone's eyes. "Well, are you gonna give me the money?" She asked sweetly._

"_Not if you're getting married to that son of a bitch," He replied just as sweetly, smirking angelically. _

She didn't even love Nick, but she was doing this to make Boone terribly jealous. She wasn't even sure that Nick loved her; she was around 80 percent positive that he was only marrying her to get at his ex-wife. But she didn't care.

She finally met up with Nick and smiled at him. He smiled back, but it was one of those fake smiles.

"_Don't you dare talked about Nick like that!" She shouted at him, in rage. She didn't know why she was defending her fiancé; Boone was right, he was a total bastard. But she just wanted to make him mad._

"_Well, if you love him so much, go to him and not me," He said simply and calm-like. He was not going to let her get the best of him again._

"_You're just jealous because I don't love you!" She cried._

"_Oh here it goes again. Get a life Shannon. I don't love as more than a sister, so just get over it! I just don't want you marrying a selfish bastard!" He yelled back._

Thank God that Nick wasn't poor, or she would never have done this. She was wearing a short white silk dress, with a large white veil covering her whole body. She was wearing white stilettos. She was carrying a bouquet of white flowers. But at the moment, everything seemed black.

The minister began talking, and Shannon seemed to get lost in the rest of it. Her mouth seemed to say everything, but her mind was far away. She said her vows and she said "I do" and she kissed Nick. But the whole time, she was imagining that she was marrying Boone. He was the only thing she could think about.

"_You're an awful liar, Boone," said Shannon, walking over to him and wrapping his arms around him_

_Boone pushed her away furiously. "Don't, Shannon." He tried to look away from her as he said this, not wanting to look into her beautiful eyes._

"_I'm guessing you were drunk when you agreed to marrying him?" He inquired coolly._

"_So what if I was? It's none of your business," She retorted coldly._

"_Fine, what the hell do I care?" Boone said, walking to the door of the apartment. "Maybe one day you'll realize that he's a rude, mean and drunk person and that neither of you love each other. If I'm lucky, you'll also realize that you're a selfish little bitch."_

_A cold, hard and well manicured hand slapped across Boone's face in a split second. "Don't you dare insult me!" She hissed, "You don't even bloody well deserve to."_

The wedding was over. She threw the bouquet. Nick gracefully picked her up and ran with her to the limo that was going to drive back to Nick's place. The driver started the car and they drove off, the people watching them go. The waved, they cried, they danced. But Shannon was oblivious to everything that happened. Near the side of the church, standing in all black, was Boone. Time seemed to stop as their eyes met. The car drove around the corner and he was gone.

_Boone put a slender hand to his face and rubbed the place where she hit him. He took a few seconds to recover._

"_Goodbye, Shannon," He said, pushing her aggressively through the door, and slamming it in her face._

"_Boone, you little baby!" She cried, banging her fists on the door. "You're not done with me!" She felt the tears sliding down her pampered face. She leaned on, and slid down the smooth door and crumpled into a heap at the foot of the door, sobbing gently._

A few soft, wet tears ran down Shannon's face.

When Nick questioned her about what was wrong, she just smiled and said that they were tears of joy.


	9. Confrontation

Chapter 9: Confrontation

Disclaimer: As you can tell, I don't own Lost. I wish I owned Sawyer and Boone, but unfortunately, I don't.

Characters: Shannon, Kate, Sawyer.

A/n: Ok, here's the next "Born to Run" Chapter. I hope you like it, because I didn't really. I don't actually se a point to this story anymore, lol. Thatnks to my reviewers!

* * *

Shannon sat down on the beach next to her tent, and wrapped her arms around her legs, trying to forget about driving past Boone on her wedding day. He was dressed in all black, while she was in white. If the world was good, it would be the other way around. She would be wearing black, and he would be wearing white. She sighed, remembering that if this was a good world, she would be dead, and Boone would be alive. Secretly, she hated fighting with him, even if sometimes it made her feel better about herself. She also hated watching other people fight. At the moment, she was watching Kate and Sawyer battle it out for the position on the raft. Shannon wondered why it was so important to get off the island on that raft. Hell, she wanted to get off as badly as anyone, but she would prefer to wait for the rescue boats, that is, if the rescue boats ever came.

"_Why did you come?" Shannon asked casually, leaning against the door frame._

_He gave no response, just continued to read his book. But it was obvious to anyone that he was not reading._

"_Why did you come?" She repeated, slightly impatient._

"_What are you talking about?" Boone asked her, trying to keep calm._

_It had been two months since Shannon had married Nick, and well, it didn't work out. In the end he went back to his ex-wife who had been having an affair withhis brother for the last 9 months._

"_You know damn well what I'm talking about," she said, walking in from the doorway and sitting down on the couch where her skirt slightly ride up her leg, giving Boone a full view of her thigh._

_He shrugged and returned to his book, pretending to neglect her._

"_Why were you at the wedding? You weren't invited."_

"_Shannon that was over two months ago, and I wasn't exactly at the wedding," he responded, matter-of-fact._

"_Right, so standing outside counted as not being at the wedding?"_

"_Yeah," he replied, standing up and walking away from her._

"_What are you doing here, Shan?" He asked her, flipping his hair out of his face with elegance. _

"_I came to apologize," she smiled genuinely, flipping her own hair in imitation._

_He smirked. "You came to apologize?" He repeated slowly and loudly, making her endure the words that had came from her own mouth. He seemed to be getting closer to her with every glance. Instantly she regretted saying it, and her genuine smile fade away. He gave a laugh and then threw her his half smile that she hated to love._

_Shannon looked down at her knees and suddenly realized she was shaking! Boone being close to her instantly made her tremble. Boone disregarded it though. Shannon was screaming at herself inside; Boone was the one meant to be shaking! Not her!_

"_Right," he mumbled, turning around and placing his book on the table. "What are you really doing here?"_

"_Don't make me repeat it, Boone."_

"_Right," he said again in disbelief, cocking his head to the right and staring at her. _

_Boone then peered down at his expensive watch, which was engraved with diamonds and sapphires. They brought out the color of his eyes. She looked up at them and found herself getting lost in the blue pools._

_Shannon cleared her throat. "I was wondering if-"_

"_Listen, as nice as it is having you come and apologize, I have someone coming over soon, so it would be best if you weren't here." He cut across her._

"_And why not?" she demanded. "I'm sure any of your friends would love me."_

_At that moment a beautiful women with long flowing red hair walked through the door to Boone's apartment. She was wearing (to Shannon's disgust) a short slimming black dress matched with black stilettos and black earrings. Her red bangles brought out the color of her hair. Shannon stared at her._

"_Hey," she said smiling, eyeing Boone, and then frowned as she saw Shannon. The moment the two locked gazes, they knew it was war. _

"_Uhh…" Boone stuttered, "Shannon, this is Aleeya, Aleeya, this is my sister, Shannon."_

_Shannon couldn't help noticing how carefully and loudly he emphasized "my sister"._

"_Hi, nice to meet you!" Shannon exclaimed with false cheeriness.  
_

"_And you to!" Aleeya cried, just as enthusiastically, with just a small hint of sarcasm. _

_Aleeya was obviously relieved that this strange, but very pretty girl, was Boone's sister. However, Shannon's tacky mini skirt and blue halter top had nothing on her dress._

"_That's funny, you guys look nothing a like," Aleeya laughed, her voice a purr. _

_Hilarious, Shannon thought nastily. This girl's a regular comedian._

"_We're step-siblings," Shannonadded sweetly._

_Aleeya's stupid girly grin faded, and Shannon smirked._

"_Shannon-,"Boone began to say._

"_Well, I better be going, Ciao Boone," Shannon waved, and took off quickly. Boone was about to call her back, but thought twice about doing that. Only as she got to her car did Shannon let her false happiness slide into misery.

* * *

_

Shannon surveyed the beach. Claire (Shannon almost snorted) was helplessly trying to cut Charlie hair, while the dwarf played the guitar. Michael was talking to Walt while building the raft. Shannon eyes traveled past them, when suddenly something happened. Michael was doubled over in pain and the boy had just sprinted off into the jungle. Shannon jumped up most unlike her usual self and hurried over to Michael.

"What's wrong?" she asked, her voice compassionate for once.

"My stomach," he groaned.

She quickly grabbed a water bottle from her tent and rushed back, and gave it to Michael. Seconds later, Walt and Sun burst out of the jungle and ran over to Michael and Shannon got pushed away. However, she couldn't help but notice the guilty look upon the Korean's face.

What felt like an hour later (which was actually probably 10 minutes) Kate appeared at the edge of the forest, closely followed by Jack. Kate too, appeared to have a guilty expression etched into her face. Shannon looked at her incredulously, wondering if Kate and Sun were the reason for this. As far as Shannon could tell from Jack's words, it wasn't just regular sickness; there had been something in the water. Feeling ignored by the group, Shannon lurked back to her spot text to her tent.

Shannon found herself staring into oblivion again, and had not realized how fast time went by while she was sitting there until Kate came over to her.

"I know what you're thinking, and you're wrong. I didn't poison Michael," Kate said solemnly, sitting next to her.

Shannon remained silent.

"Shannon, I wouldn't do that," she paused, making sure she was listening. "To anyone."

"Or maybe you were trying to poison Sawyer?" Shannon asked, not sure why she really cared. She really had become more compassionate since Boone died.

"As much as Sawyer annoys me, I wouldn't do that to him," she replied earnestly.

Shannon smirked. "Yeah, I guess you wouldn't."

Kate looked away so Shannon couldn't see her face. She hated lying to her friend. She hated lying to those who believed in her.

"I'll see you later, OK?" Kate tried to smile, and walked away.

Only minutes later however, another ruckus was emerging. Sawyer and Michael, were fighting again, but now Shannon couldn't hear their words, so she moved closer.

Sawyer had grabbed Kate, who was talking to Charlie, and dragged her away, ignoring her pleas.

"Let go of me," she said through gritted teeth.

"No, look who the criminal is," Sawyer yelled.

Charlie protested against him, telling Sawyer to leave Kate alone.

"Tell him," Sawyer hissed, grabbing Kate's backpack fiercely and opening it.

"Give that back!" Kate cried, frantically trying to grab her backpack.

Shannon herself was about to shout out at Sawyer, until Michael spoke before her, "Leave her alone," he defended her, trying to get up.

"Leave Her alone?" Sawyer laughed.

"Give that back," Kate yelled, anger in her voice.

Sawyer began to dump her stuff on the ground, and grabbed a passport.

"Mmm-hmmm. Look. Look at this," Sawyer said proudly. Shannon wondered what the heck was going on. It was a passport for Christ's sake!

"Sawyer, please," Kate pleaded.

"You all remember Joanna, don't you? Huh? The woman who drowned?" Sawyer paused, handing the passport to Michael. "Now what's Kate doing with poor Joanna's ID? Could it be she'd do just about anything to get on that raft? So she could get herself rescued, run off with a new identity before half the reporters in the world descend on this damn island? She might even poison the captain himself."

"Shut up!" Kate roared at him.

"She don't care about nothin' or nobody but herself."

Shannon didn't know what was going on. Why did Kate have a dead girl's passport? Suddenly she remembered that Kate had killed someone. Was it possible that… Kate was the fugitive?

"You want to tell us why you need to run so bad? You want to tell us the truth?" The look in Sawyer's usually warm eyes, was venomous.

"Yes," Kate said suddenly. Sawyer, and everyone else looked momentarily taken back. "I was on the plane with the Marshal. Yes, I was wanted and caught and being transported back. No matter what I say about what happened - about what I supposedly did - I'm going to jail. But I didn't poison you," she told Michael.

Shannon stared at her, her mouth wide open in shock. She was a criminal! She was going to jail when they got rescued!

Michael handed the passport back to Sawyer and walked away, as did everyone else, leaving Kate standing there by herself on the beach. Even Shannon felt herself leaving Kate. Kate looked at her, and Shannon looked back, sadness and distrust in her hazel eyes.

Kate sunk to her knees and stared at something that Shannon could not see. Shaking her head, she departed back to her tent.

* * *

Later that night, Shannon saw Sawyer go into his tent. She followed him slowly.

"God, damnit!" he said, sighing.

"You didn't want to do that, did you?" Shannon asked quietly.

Sawyer jumped backwards in shock.

"Shit, could you scare the hell outta me any more?" he asked angrily.

"Do you care?" She asked, stepping forward.

"About what?"

"That she's a fugitive," she responded simply.

"What the hell do you want from me Sticks?"

"I want to know."

"Honestly? No! I don't give a damn about her being a fugitive! I just cared about getting off this Shithouse, and no girl, especially Freckles, is going to stop me."

He was obviously in a bad mood, so Shannon gave up and said, "Goodnight, Sawyer," and walked off.

"Sticks!" he called after her. "I didn't mean to yell at you, I'm just…"

"Angry?" she supplied, almost waltzing back over to him.

"Yeah, that about sums it up. Anyways, I gotta pack. I'm leavin' on the raft tomorrow."

"You're really going?" she asked sadly.

Sawyer smirked at her sadness. "Yep, gettin' myself off this rock."

Shannon looked down at her toes. "You better come back and rescue us though. This island is tormenting me."

He chuckled silently. "You can count on good ol' Sawyer to come to your rescue."

She grinned. "Night, Sawyer. Don't die out there."

And before he had responded, she had walked away.

Shannon passed many people, including Sayid, but she just walked right past him. He was obviously about to say something to her, but didn't get the chance as Jack came by to talk to him.

Soon she saw Kate, sitting on a log by a fire, playing with a toy airplane.

When she caught sight of Shannon, she sighed.

Shannon trailed over to Kate, and sat on the log next to her.

"Aren't you going to avoid me like everyone else?" Kate asked her, tearing her eyes away from the glistening fire.

"No," Shannon shrugged. "I don't see why I should. You are exactly the same as before, except now I know more about you."

Kate smiled wearily at her.

Silence rose between them. Both were enchanted by the dancing flames.

"Umm… do you think that Sawyer's ever going to come back?"Kate askedeventually, tripping over her words.

"Yeah," Shannon responded. "Whether with a rescue boat or not, I just know he's going to come back."

Kate placed a hand on Shannon shoulder. "Shannon, uh…" she paused, thinking of what to say. "Thanks for coming and talking to me. You're the first one besides Sawyer to do so since the confrontation. I know you've been through a lot, so, yeah, thanks."

"It's only repaying how nice you've been to me since Boone died." Shannon stopped speaking, as a tear ran down her face. She instantly began sobbing. "You think I would have been able to have some control over my emotions, but I can't. I can't stop thinking about him. It's my fault he was on the island; it's my fault he died!"

"Hey," Kate whispered to her. "I know it may seem like your fault, but it's not. And it's natural for you to cry. But eventually, even though you may think about it all the time, you have to try to overcome your grief."

A single tear rolled down her face. "Oh, what the heck am I talking about?"Kate almostlaughed. "You see this plane?" she asked, holding the little toy up. "This was Tom's. Since I got it back; I have it with me everywhere. I can't seem to get rid of it, or stop thinking about it, because it was my fault that Tom died. I even robbed a bank to get it. I guess we both need to try to move on."

"Can you promise me one thing?" Shannon asked. Kate nodded. "That you and Sawyer won't fight anymore."

Kate smiled and nodded again.

"The last time I talked to Boone, I was… kind of fighting with him. Trying to manipulate him again, I suppose. And the last thing that he said to me was, "no, thanks" and after he died, that made me feel so awful. So try and make up with Sawyer before he leaves, ok?"

"Ok."

* * *

A/N: Ok, I thought this was a pretty bad chapter (then again, this is a pretty bad story) so please review to tell me what you liked or didn't like about it. I'm only probably going to have 3 more chapters before I end this story, so all reviews are welcomed. 


	10. Moving On

**Chapter 10: Moving On**

Disclaimer: I don't own Lost. End of Story.

Summary: Shannon writes a letter to Boone.

A/N: Alright, here's the 10th chapter. Thanks again to my reviewers. I love you guys! So please review again to make me happy! This is the third last chapter in this story. i hope you like it. :)

* * *

Run, Hide or Die. For a second Shannon was seriously considering die. That morning when the crazy French women had told them that "they" were coming, everyone panicked. Everyone that is, except Shannon. She didn't care if they were coming. She didn't even care if she was going to die. That way, she could see Boone again. But she knew that was selfish. People actually besides Boone cared about her, which was a new thing to grasp for Shannon.

The raft was getting ready to set sail. A group of heroic adventurers were going into the jungle to open some hatch that Locke and Boone had been excavating. Shannon gave a pathetic laugh when Locke told her it was Boone who had found the hatch in the first place. If it weren't for that stupid hatch, Boone would still be alive.

But Shannon still wanted answers. Boone had been avoiding her before he died. What the hell was that about? Shannon's mind seemed to be divided into thirds. A third that wanted her to kill John Locke, A third that wanted her to grab a gun and shoot her own head off or wait for these "others" to come for her, and a third that wanted her to go with the rest of the group and get on with life.

"Alright. Ready. 1-2-3. Lift," Michael shouted, ordering the group huddled around the raft.

Shannon lifted with all of her strength. Behind her, Sayid was lifting as well, but managed to do it with ease compared to Shannon. About everyone from the plane, with the exception of Claire and Walt and a few others, were trying to get the raft down the water. They had to get of the island before these people came. The crazy French women told them they were coming. And most people believed her, especially Sayid. Shannon didn't know what to believe anymore.

A loud crunch echoed through the air as the mast broke off, and the raft immediately stopped. Looking back, Shannon saw Michael throwing Sawyer a dirty look, and once again, the two were arguing. Shannon smiled. Most people blamed Sawyer for bad things that had happened, and basically all of the time he never was responsible. Such as stealing her inhalers, or that he was the fugitive.

But Shannon's weary smile faded asWalt pointed towards the horizon, where a horrible pillar of black smoke was rising. The French women said that the black smokemeant "they" were coming. Whoever they were. Shannon gulped and looked around at all the other worried faces.

Suddenly everyone was telling her to get to the caves after the raft set sail.

Shannon felt someone brush past her and flipped around to see Sawyer marching off it's the jungle with the axe. "Damnit," he muttered as marched past.

Shannon then found herself absent-mindedly walked around and talking to no one in particular. She had to pack her things and get to the cave. She hated being bossed around, especially by these people that she didn't know.

"Hey, Shannon!" A voice cried.

She turned around to see Charlie rushing towards her.

"Hey, um, we got a bottle that we're gonna put on the raft so that when they rescue us they can hand out messages to our loved ones back home. You want to write one?"

Shannon frowned. Who would she write one to, anyway? Sabrina hated her, her father was dead, she hardly had any close friends or boyfriends anymore and the only person who had ever been solid in her life was dead.

"No, thanks," she whispered.

He handed her a piece of paper and smiled. "Just in case,"

Charlie began to walk off down to the beach to pester the group around the raft, and Shannon went to follow him.

When they reached the shore a bunch of people were saying goodbye to everyone, and Shannon realized that this was the group of people going after the dynamite.

"Shannon!" Kate called to her, beckoning her to come closer. "Hey, I'll see you later ok? I'm going in the jungle with Jack."

"But you aren't going to be here for the raft launching," Shannon pointed out, frowning. "I'm sure Sawyer would like to see you as he goes off into the water." Shannon poked out her tongue.

"Well, I'm not into those sappy kinds of goodbyes," Kate responded cheekily. "Speaking of Sawyer, have you seen him? I wanted to say goodbye now."

"He went into the jungle a while ago."

"Oh," Kate sighed. "Well, Cya," she told Shannon, and she walked over to Charlie, no doubt to ask about Sawyer as well.

"Bye, Shannon," Jack smiled at her as she walked past, and then turned back to the group and yelled, "Alright, let's go."

Shannon instinctively looked over at Kate, who looked worried. She went to follow Jack, but scanned the forest for Sawyer before she left.

Shannon once again began to walk along the beach and camp absent-mindedly. She stopped in front of her own tent and began to fold her clothes and put them in a suitcase. It was moments before she realized she was actually folding Boone's clothes.

_Shit_, she thought. _I'm thinking about him even when I'm not._

"Why are you folding the clothes?" asked a small voice.

"Because I'm anal," Shannon replied, turning around to see that she was speaking to Walt.

Is there something you want?" she said, a little too coldly.

"I think you should take Vincent," he told her, scuffing his foot on the sand and looking innocent.

"Are you serious?" she asked coolly, looking down at the dog.

"He'll take care of you," the boy explained.

Shannon gritted her teeth. How would a ten-year-old know she needed somebody?

"What's makes you think I need a dog to take care of me?"

"Vincent took care of me when my mom died, and nobody would talk to me. They pretended like nothing happened. So I had to talk to Vincent. He's a good listener. You could talk to him about Boone if you want."

Shannon felt tears welling up in her hazel eyes. Shannon would usually scowl at children and laugh at the stupid things they said. Usually, she would also think that talking to a dog who was a good listener about her dead brother was stupid, but just the way the kid seemed to understand her made it seem so intelligent. She forced back the tears, wondering why she was beginning the cry again. Many people had mentioned Boone, and she had only started to cry for some of them, but this little boy was different. Shannon tried to forget that Walt was ten, the same age Boone was when she met him.

She bent down and patted the dogs head softly. "Alright, but only until you get us rescued, okay?"

"Okay," he smiled. "Will you take good care of him?"

"As long as he takes good care of me."

Walt turned around and began to walk away when Shannon decided that she would write a message. She got out the piece of paper that Charlie had given her and got out a pen from her bag; the one she did crossword puzzles with.

She felt terribly stupid writing this letter, but she did.

_Dear Boone,_

_Yeah, I'm writing to you. I don't know why, I just am. Maybe it's because I'm crazy, or I just feel the need to write to you. I never really got to tell you, but I love you. I just laughed out loud, thinking of how funny it will be when someone like Sawyer opens this message to give it to someone I know. He already thinks I'm crazy._

_Not like anyone will be there awaiting my return. Everyone outside of this island hates me. Especially Sabrina, when she finds out you ditched work and that really important meeting to come rescue me. Then she'll hate me even more when she'll find out that you're… dead. I despise that word, death, ever since it happened to you. I never minded the concept of death before, but now it hurts. _

_I'm sorry Boone. It's my fault you were even on this island. I'm sorry for that whole thing in Sydney. I'm sorry for everything I ever put you through. I'm sorry for when I used to taunt you about working for a wedding business for your mom, and I'm sorry for calling you gay (even though I know you weren't). I have about a hundred other things I could say sorry about, but you would just get bored by the time you read all of them. There are so many things I want to apologize and thank you for. But especially, I'm sorry that you're dead. It should have been me; a cold-hearted bitch. Not you; the loyal, kind and heroic Boone._

_Remember when we went to the park, just when our parents had first met, and I fell off the monkey bars? You caught me. I still remember it to this day. I dream about it, but I also dream about you falling down in a plane, but I'm not there to catch you, I'm making-out with Sayid on the other side of the island. I'm sorry about that too. I know you didn't want me to be with Sayid, especially not while you were dieing._

_Remember how you begged and begged Sabrina and Adam to continue paying for my dancing lessons? I was so happy! I was so overcome with happiness that I hugged you for hours until Sabrina told me to stop it. I danced around the whole house until I got so tired that I fainted. Thank you, Boone. I remember how you also tried to give me some money so I could try and go and live in New York for my dancing. But I refused it, trying to show you how independent and stubborn I could be. God, I hated Sabrina. It felt as though she wanted to rip out my wings so I couldn't fly away. I cried for hours after you left, because I knew that I could never be a ballerina. And that I could never live with you in a huge loft in Manhattan._

_Remember when Sabrina screamed at me for coming home at 3 am in the morning, drunk, when I was 16 years old? You defended me. You told her to leave me alone because I wasn't really her daughter and she had no write to yell at me. She slapped you. She got so angry at you that she didn't even talk to you (or me) for the next week. I was so grateful. I don't think that she even told my father._

_Do you remember how after she slapped you, I went into your room and kissed you? Yeah, you probably do. I remember it so clearly as if it happened to other day. Not a brother-sister kiss. It wasn't even a friendly kiss. It was one of those fairytale kisses that awaken the sleeping princesses. _

_I'm sorry that I manipulated you. But I suppose, you don't like me dwelling on sad times, do you? You hated how I cried and cried after my first boyfriend, Luke, broke up with me. But maybe you were jealous?Memories are nice, but that's all they are. But you'll always be more than a memory for me. You are my hero._

_So, what can I tell you? I almost killed Locke. I was so terribly sad that I almost killed Locke because everyone told me it was his fault that you died. I also made friends with Sawyer and Kate. Yeah, I know. Out of all people, why did I choose Sawyer? He's actually really nice, but nothing on you of course. The raft is setting off today, and Sawyer's going with them. Kate looked so sad when she couldn't tell him goodbye. You know Michael's kid? He gave me his dog so that I can have him until he returns with a rescue team. He told me that I could talk to the dog about you and he'd listen. Kids and their imagination, right?_

_I used to imagine that we were married, and we were a Prince and Princess in a far away land. Kids and their imagination, right?_

_I used to think that you would be the only thing that never moved in my life. Like a rock. But that's changed now. You'll always be with me, but never there for me. You used to always save me, and come to my rescue. Since you died, I have dreamed about you every night. You're always standing over me, as if you are protecting me from nightmares. But, you can't seem to protect me from nightmares about you. _

_Well, I have so much more to say, but unfortunately, the raft is setting sail, and I have to say goodbye to all of those people, for I might not be able to._

_Goodbye, Boone. I might write to you some other day. Just remember that I love you and I'm sorry for all of the mean things I did to you, and I'm thankful for everything you did for me. But I have to try and move on._

_Love Shannon_

Shannon finished the letter and folded it, carefully and neatly. She rushed down to the water where the raft was about to set sail.

"Charlie!" She said, running over to him and handing out her note.

"You decided to write one?" He inquired.

"Yeah."

"Ok, thanks," he replied, taking the note and putting it in the bottle.

Shannon walked over to Walt, with Vincent in tow. He looked up at her tall figure and smiled. She bent down and he hugged her. She drew back for a second, frowning. No little kid had ever hugged her before, and it was a strange feeling.

"Bye, Walt," she told him, grinning. "Keep safe."

"You too. I hope Vincent will keep you safe."

"I know he will." Shannon nodded. Walt moved away from her, after patting Vincent, and went towards his Dad.

"Hey, uhh, Shannon?" said an all too familiar southern voice.

"Yeah?" she asked, turning around to face Sawyer.

"You haven't seen Kate, have you?"

"She went off on the dynamite expedition."

"Oh," he frowned, his eyebrows furrowing low over his eyes.

"You better come back with a rescue boat," she told him sternly. "Or I'm gonna have to come and get you!"

He smirked the smirk she knew all too well. "Don't go crazy without me, Sticks."

"Oh, don't worry. I'm already crazy."

He laughed and patted her on the shoulder.

The four men all jumped on the raft and soon they were floating out to sea. Everyone (mainly Charlie and Sayid) were jumping up and down, waving and shouting. Shannon wearily waved at the rafties, praying to dear God that they returned. She couldn't stand another loss.

Before she realized it, Vincent had escaped from her hold and was running into the water and dog-paddling out to the raft.

"Vincent!" she cried, running after him, but she was afraid to go in the water. The depths of the sea seemed to taunt her. Vincent had escaped and run away from her, just like Boone had.

Her grief began to kick in again and she was about to shout "Boone! Come back!" out at the dog, but thought better.

"Stay, Vincent. Go back, Vincent. Vincent, go back, go back," Walt shouted at the dog. And just like that, the Labrador turned around and swum back to Shannon, who collected himwhere the water was becoming deep.

Shannon sighed and waved one more time. He had come back to her. Turning her back and retreating to her tent to retrieve her belongings, Shannon shuddered as the black pillar of smoke continued to rise.


	11. Fate?

**Overcoming Grief: Chapter 11- Fate?**

Disclaimer: I don't own Lost, but I wished I owned Boone.

A/N: Ok here's chapter 11. It's a pretty short, and pretty meaningless chapter, and it is the second last one, so anyways, hope you enjoy. Please review!

* * *

Shannon trudged along the beach, grunting and yelling at no one in particular. On her left shoulder, she carried one of her bags. On her right shoulder, she carried another one of her bags. In her left hand she pulled along an extremely heavy suitcase that was both hers, and her brothers. And to top it off, in her right hand, she carried the leash of a very stubborn dog that was not going to move. Her feet sunk inches into the sand every footstep, making her very tired and very aggravated very easily.

She knew she was being stupid, taking all this luggage to the caves. But she couldn't leave Boone's luggage, it was as if by leaving his clothes and things here, she was leaving her memory of him. She also knew she didn't need every suitcase she owned, but she felt it was her duty to make it all the way to the caves herself without any help. So far her independent struggle was not working. Every few steps she had to stop to adjust one of the bags.

"Damn it!" she cried angrily, pulling with all her strength.

"Do you really need all that?" asked the voice of Sayid, instantly coming out of no where to help her.

"Yeah, I do," she replied dryly, not sure whether or not she wanted his help.

"Why do you have to bring so much?"

Becoming fed up, Shannon halted. "Don't you have a hike to lead?"

At that moment Shannon dropped her bag, and the zipper partly came undone. She saw Boone's clothes fall out of it, and she rushed down to grab them, hoping Sayid had not noticed them.

"I'm fine," she grumbled as he went to help her.

"These belong to your brother," Sayid pointed out, looking down at the clothes.

"I need these things," she suddenly burst out, unable to restrain her feelings. "I can't just leave them. What are we doing? Hiding? As if they won't find us. It's just - it's too much. It's too much."

She stopped, looking as if she were going to cry. These "others" were going to find them, and they were going to kill them.

Sayid reached and stroked her hair gently.

"It won't be too much if I carry it for you," he told her kindly. "Now come on, I have a hike to lead."

He grabbed her suitcase and one of her bags and began walking along, making Shannon feel like a weak idiot, but certainly happy she didn't have to carry the whole load all the way to the cave.

* * *

_Knock, Knock, Knock. _

_Shannon looked up from her place on the lounge. She looked at her diamond studded watch. 10 am. She sighed._

_She got up lazily and went to the door. She was in her friends, Dominique's, apartment. She was staying with her for a day or two before she moved down to Sydney with some hot Aussie guy called Brian. He was coming tomorrow to pick her up._

_She opened the door and her mouth fell open in shock._

"_Hey, Shan."_

"_What are you doing here?" she asked grumpily. She hadn't seen him for months._

"_I came to say hi," Boone shrugged._

"_How'd you know I was here?" Shannon asked, pushing her hair out of her face._

"_Sabrina mentioned you were at a friend's place," he said simply. Shannon knew this was a lie. Sabrina didn't give a shit where she was, even if Shannon was alive._

_When she didn't respond, Boone said, "I'm sorry about that whole Aleeya thing."_

"_Why? I didn't care. It's your life; you do what you want with it," she said. She gulped, hoping he hadn't noticed that her voice was very high when she said that._

"_Oh, well…I'm sorry anyway."_

"_Right," she sighed. She was actually really happy that he had said that. She turned away, frowning and debating with herself whether or not she should close the door. "Whatever."_

"_Oh come on. You were jealous," he burst out._

"_What?" Shannon cried in outrage. Had she really been that obvious?_

_He gave her his half-smile and shrugged._

"_What do you mean 'I was jealous'?"_

"_You know what I mean," he smirked._

"_What the fuck are you talking about, Boone?" she cried, trying to keep it cool. "What should I be jealous of?"_

_He smiled again, his eyes twinkling with amusement._

_It infuriated her even further when he didn't say anything. He just smiled that charming, cocky smile, which would usually make her heart melt._

"_Oh, yeah," she said sarcastically, "I really envy her for having sex with my brother. Get real, Boone."_

"_Alright," he shrugged, his face unreadable. "Bye, Shan."_

_He turned around and walked away._

"_Hey! We aren't done yet!" she called to him, leaving the apartment and running after him._

_His face was in the same smirk when he turned around, as if to say "I knew you'd chase after me."_

_She scowled at him. "Why did you even bother to come here today, Boone?"_

"_Because I wanted to know."_

"_Know what?"_

_And before she could register it, he closed the gap that was between them he kissed her. She had no idea why he had just done so, but he had. And she kissed him back. In a second they had deepened the kiss, passion burning in both of them._

_Seconds later he had pulled away._

"_Bye, Shannon."_

_And before she could realize what the hell had just happened, and why the hell Boone had done it, she blinked, and he was gone. Her mouth was wide open in shock._

_The next day Brian came for her, and.all she could think about was the kiss, and thatBoone knew that by the way she had kissed him back, she had feelings for him that weren't brother-sisterly. She was angry at herself for giving in so easily._

_When Boone came to Dominique's apartment the next day, Shannon was already gone. He frowned. Maybe he was wrong. She didn't have any feelings for him after all.

* * *

_

"Sayid!" cried a frantic voice.

Shannon and Sayid, who were on the path to the caves, halted, and turned around to see Charlie running towards them, saying something about the crazy French woman wanting Sayid. Shannon groaned in annoyance. Sayid immediately dropped her bags and ran back with Charlie. Not wanting to be alone, Shannon dropped the bags she was carrying and hurried after them.

Claire was lying on the ground, her head bleeding. The French woman had attacked her and stolen her baby. Before she knew what was going on, Charlie had punched Sayid and the two had run off to get guns. Seconds later, a very angry Claire and an upset Sun went after them. Shannon just stood there, feeling extremely stupid and extremely ignored.

"Come on, Vincent. May as well catch up with them," she told the dog.

It took her a while longer for her to reach them, with the dog in tow, who Shannon had guessed by now didn't particularly like her. She didn'tparticularly likehim either.When she did reach them, Sayid and Charlie had guns and were about to run off in a rescue mission. Sayid hastily kissed Shannon on the cheek and headed off, Charlie sprinting along beside him. Claire was crying and Sun was comforting her, whispering things like, "He's going to bring him back."

Shannon knelt beside her in sympathy. Aaron Boone Littleton had been kidnapped, just like her mother had been weeks ago. She nodded with Sun and whispered, "Claire, Charlie and Sayid are going to bring your baby back."

She shook her head numbly, muttering "No, no, no," over and over. "Even if they get him back, the others will kidnap him again. She said they were coming for him."

Shannon and Sun stood in silence, both trying to come up with something to tell Claire, but both failed.

About ten minutes later, after Claire had finally calmed down, Sun, Shannon and Claire made their way to the caves. The walk was in silence, except for the constant sobs of the Australian. As soon as the reached the caves, Shannon immediately looked towards where Boone had died. She shook her head, trying not to think about it.

Sun walked down with some food for the dog and placed it next to Vincent.

"He died bravely."

"What?" she asked stupidly, but clearly knowing what Sun was talking about.

"Your brother."

"Yeah. Thanks," she mumbled, wondering why the heck she was telling her this.

Sun paused. "Do you think all this - all that we've been through - do you think we're being punished?"

She said it as if she had wanted to ask someone that all day.

Yes, Shannon had been thinking along the same lines that day as well.

"Punished for what?" she wondered, pondering Sun's answer. She already knew her own answer.

"Things we did before -the secrets we kept, the lies we told."

So she wasn't the only one with guilt and a horrible past.

"Who do you think is punishing us?"

"Fate," was Sun's reply.

Fate. Shannon had never believed in fate before. But this island, this freaky unknown island was so… different that anything seemed possible.

"No one's punishing us. There's no such thing as fate." Claire muttered, more to herself then to the girls.

Shannon frowned, as did Sun. As the three of them pondered fate and the island, they also wondered if they would survive the night. Maybe fate controlled everything that had happened.


	12. Destiny

**Chapter 12- Destiny**

**A/N: Acck!I know I should have updated ages ago, but anyway. here's the final chapter.**

* * *

Destiny? Shannon had never believed in destiny. She had scoffed at Boone when they were kids because he mentioned something about it. He had asked her whether or not she had believed in it, and she had laughed in her Shannon-like manner, flipped her hair and walked away. Boone once asked her if she had believed in fate. Once again, she had laughed at him. But here she was, on a deserted island, without him, thinking that there was nothing she had believed in more than fate. But were destiny and fate different? She didn't know. Fate was that power that controlled you and it determined what was going to happen in your life. Destiny was… destiny was the same. It just sounded different. To Shannon, fate was something that she couldn't control, destiny, however, she believed that she could control. But she was wrong.

Sitting in a cave with around 20 something people, she had never felt more alone in her life. Claire was sitting a few meters away from her, and Sun was right next to her. Every ten minutes or so Sun and Claire would mumble words of comfort to each other. In the past few days, they had all lost someone. But Aaron would come back. Jin would come back. Sayid would come back. Boone… would never come back.

A tear ran down her face. She was being ridiculous. How many times had she repeated those lines in her head the whole day? More than fifty, echoed a small voice in her head. It had been hours since she had moved from her spot. It was very dark now, and the sky was scattered with handfuls of bright stars. The rest of the camp were huddled together in their little groups, all except the three women, alone and sad.

Shannon had no heart in her to talk. What the hell would she talk about anyway? _Wow, Sun, your husband actually forgave you after you spoke English this whole time! Don't worry Claire, the freaky rock star and the Middle-Eastern torturer will bring you back your poor tormented baby from the clutches of a psycho woman who's been on this fricking island for 16 years! _

Shannon tried to stop thinking like that. She wasn't that person anymore. Well, she pretended she wasn't.

"Shannon, are you alright?" Sun asked her, snapping her out of her reverie.

"Yeah," she mumbled sadly, shifting slightly so her back was facing Sun.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?" she asked angrily, knowing clearly what they were talking about.

"Your brother."

"No, I'm fine," she snapped, "Besides, I got the damn dog to talk to." She gave the dog a horrible smile. Vincent looked up at her face and licked it.

Sun grinned, and Claire gave a silent chuckle. Shannon even managed a small smile.

"If you ever want to talk about it, I'm here."

"Thanks," Shannon told her earnestly. She was thankful that Sun was there to help her, but she thought she didn't need any help.

For the next few minutes Shannon stared into space. She realized later, that she was in fact staring at Boone's bag. The same bag that Locke had given her a few days previous.

She frowned. Stupid bag! Why did she feel as though it were taunting her! Why did she feel as though it held a secret?

After a few seconds she couldn't hold out any longer. She grabbed the bag and greedily ripped it open for the second time.

"Hmph," she grumbled, sorting through all of stuff. His wallet, a spare change of clothes and undergarments, a knife some food and two full water bottles... nothing new.

Shannon was about to place the bag down again when she realized… there was a pocket she had never noticed before.

She suddenly felt her hands shaking. She sighed and shook her head. She was just being paranoid.

Curiosity taking over, she slowly pull the zipper down of the hidden pocket. She reached her shaking hand into and was surprised to feel something... leather.

Her heart was pounding fiercely as she pulled it out. It was a book. No, not just any book… it was a diary! This was it! The answer to all of her questions!

She dropped the book out of shock and tried to calm herself. Her breathing was getting faster, and she could feel an asthma attack coming. Counting to five, she managed to calm herself. She carefully, almost timidly, she reached for the little black book and opened the first page.

She almost shrieked as she read:

_Boone Carlyle's Diary_

"Shit, shit, shit," she mumbled as she struggled to hold onto it.

But as she went to turn to the next page, she was distracted by the barks of Vincent and the crying of Claire as a damaged Charlie and Sayid came marching through the caves, Baby Aaron in hand.

Feeling more alone now than ever, Shannon got up. She smiled at Claire and played with the Baby's little hands. She looked over and saw Sayid washing his face by the waterfall, and found herself running over to him and leaping into his strong arms.

She knew she felt something for Sayid. But she knew she would never love him. There was only one space in her heart for the person she loved. And that space was filled by her step-brother.

Minutes later, Shannon remembered the book, and hurriedly rushed over to start reading it. But as she sat down, the Labrador was no where to be seen.

"Vincent?" she asked weakly, turning around frantically. She groaned. How could she have lost the dog only a few hours after Walt had given it to her!

She leaped up. "Has anyone seen the dog?" she demanded of random people. "Has anyone seen Vincent? The dog?"

"Where are you going?" Sayid asked, walking over to her.

"I lost the damn dog," she replied, almost angrily.

She exited the caves ran out into the jungle and searched the area quickly.

"Vincent!" she cried out, after a few minutes of searching.

"It's not a good idea," Sayid said, coming up behind her.

"I saw him 5 minutes ago. Besides, you're the one who said there isn't anyone out here," she retorted. She groaned again. Where the hell had the dog run off to?

"I said we didn't see anyone. The dog will come back on his own. He always does," Sayid told her reasonably.

But Shannon didn't care. "Watching that dog was the one thing anyone has ever asked me to do. If something happens to him..." she trailed off, mumbling to herself and suddenly finding that she couldn't stand up straight.

"When was the last time you slept or had something to eat? You're exhausted."

Shannon realized that she had barely eaten or slept since Boone died. All though she was terribly exhausted, she would never admit it. "I can't tell that kid that I lost his dog because I was exhausted," she said grumpily.

Shannon and Sayid flipped around at the sound of movement and were astounded to see Vincent just sitting in the grass.

"I'll circle around behind him," Sayid said, moving towards the left of the dog.

"Okay," She nodded. But at the moment, the dog decided it would be the best time to run away.

"Vincent!" she cried. Sayid ran after the dog, leaving Shannon by herself.

"Sayid!" she yelled, losing sight of him in the darkness. "Sayid! Sayid, where are you? Sayid! Sayid!"

Her leg hit a log and it sent her tumbling to the ground. Great, she thought, I'm having such a nice day.

She looked up, shaking her head, and gasped.

"Walt?"

She was astounded. Walt, who was meant to be on the raft, was standing in the middle of the jungle, soaking wet. The boy, lifting a finger to his mouth, "shushed" her.

"What are you doing here?" she asked stupidly. Walt began to say something that she couldn't understand.

She heard running though the jungle and looked away, sensing Sayid coming. When she turned back, the kid had vanished, as mysteriously as he had appeared.

"Shannon!" Sayid shouted, helping her off the ground and noticing her shocked face. "What is it? What?"

When Shannon thought she could speak again, she mumbled, "Walt… I saw Walt."

"What?" Sayid asked, pushing a stray piece of hair out of her face.

"I saw Walt," she repeated, but stronger this time.

"Shannon, I'm sure it's just because you haven't eaten or slept in a while, you were hallucinating."

"I wasn't hallucinating!"

Tears ran down her face as she looked at Sayid's disbelieving face. "I wasn't hallucinating."

He nodded, and took her hand, leading the way back to camp.

That night, Shannon had forgotten all about the diary. She never remembered it, never in the time from when she left to find the dog and until she was shot. She never found out why Boone had been avoiding her, what Locke had done to him and what they had been excavating in the jungle. Most of the time, up until she had seen Walt for a second time, she had even stopped thinking of Boone. In a way, she had guessed, she was beginning to overcome her grief. Vincent had dragged her and she had stopped following him, right in front of his grave.

Shannon never remembered the diary… except once. When she lay dieing in Sayid's arms, she hated herself because she remembered that she had never read it. She hated herself because Sayid was there, and all she could see was Boone. But it didn't matter to her, because now… she would be with her brother forever.

* * *

**A/N: OK, I know, lame ending to a lame story. I'm really sorry it took so long. I'm having serious writers block and nothing I write makes sense anymore. Thanks so much to all my gorgeous reviewers! I love you guys! Until my next story,**

**Dee Lee**


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